Camille felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Somehow she found her voice. “She doesn’t think that.”
“Maybe not,” he conceded. “Kids tend to exaggerate. But are you sure she understands that even after the nightmare you went through, life can be good again? Doesn’t your kid deserve to know that?”
Camille opened her mouth to object. Then she closed it. His words made clear, devastating sense. What message had she been sending to Julie all these years? All of Julie’s young life? Dear God, what if he was right? “So in your expert opinion, I’ve been so mired in my own grief that I missed out on the last five years.”
“You tell me. I wasn’t there for it.”
She pictured her daughter growing and changing from a little girl in pigtails and a pink backpack, skipping off to school, to a high school freshman, filled with equal parts bravado and uncertainty. Did Camille savor life enough, or was she too frightened and sad to let Julie feel the joy of living? She got up from the bench and walked away, though she couldn’t escape her own doubts.
“You know what drives me batshit crazy?” Finn asked. “You push me away when I get close.”
“That’s not—” Oh, but it was. He’d nailed it. This was never going to work. All she wanted was a quiet, stable life. Finn got in the way of that by igniting a whirlwind of emotion and reminding her of her own burning needs.
“You claim you already found the love of your life,” he said, standing up, glaring at her. “And that you already lost him. What if—just what if you get another chance? What if you allow for that possibility? What if I’m your second chance?”
“We’re too different,” she shot back, feeling something like panic.
“What are you afraid of, Camille? That you’ll never find a love like that again? Because I’m here to tell you, you’re absolutely right.”
“Then why—”
“You will never find a love like that again. That love is over. But if you’d give yourself half a chance, you might just find something brand-new with me. I’m asking you, why is that such a scary thing? What are you afraid of?”
“What am I afraid of?” she asked. Maybe I’m afraid because I already have found something with you. The thought filled her with wonder . . . and dread. “That it won’t work, and we’ll hurt each other, and Julie will get hurt, too.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, Camille. I’d never do that.”
“I appreciate your concern,” she said, her throat thick with tears. “But it’s time for us to go.”
He stared at her for a moment, stone cold. She tried not to remember the moments in his arms, the dark, sweet pleasure of their lovemaking. He strode away and took a dossier from his car. “I’ve been working on the paratrooper angle for you. I narrowed the list down to three reconnaissance men who were lost while doing advance scouting for the August invasion. Three men were unaccounted for in the operation in the summer of 1944.” He handed over the files. “You can take it from here.”
Twenty
Home at last in Bethany Bay, Camille found that the world looked different. Having been gone, she appreciated her hometown in a new way. It was quite a privilege to live in a place where people came for vacation, to appreciate the sea breezes, the ocean and scenery. The shop was thriving, and the items she’d acquired in France over the summer were selling briskly. Her mother had curated a collection of art prints from the work of both Lisette and Camille herself, and customers seemed fascinated by the recovered images.
She sighed and opened a few windows, savoring the light breeze from the ocean. Home at last. The trip had passed in a blur of mixed emotions. She surprised herself by realizing she wasn’t afraid of flying anymore. The fear came from something else—she was afraid of leaving. She might have left a new shot at happiness.
Fear was a relative thing. The fear of risking her heart was more powerful than her fear of flying.
To keep from missing Finn like crazy, she reminded herself of the good things that had happened over the summer. It had been transformative in many ways for Julie, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Not so long ago, Julie had been angry and hurt, soothing herself by overeating and passing sedentary hours staring at her phone or tablet screen. Now she looked different, having thrived on a season outdoors, getting into athletics, honing her French—and her self-confidence.
“I have a bottle of prosecco, and I know how to use it.” Billy Church came into the kitchen without knocking. He set down the chilled bottle and enfolded Camille in a bear hug. “Welcome home,” he said. “Long time no see. I want to hear everything.”
She leaned into the familiar comfort he offered, and something inside her broke loose. “It was . . . ah, Billy. I don’t even know where to start.”
“With the bubbly,” he suggested, and popped the cork.
She told him about all the history they had unearthed about her father, and how Julie had made friends, and Henry had finally found his true self in a reunion with a man he’d walked away from decades before. By the time they finished the bottle, she’d filled him in on all the high points.
“Julie said you fell in love with Finn,” Billy said.
Camille gasped. “She didn’t.”
“She did. Clearly you’ve left a few things out.”
“Well, she’s wrong. I . . . we . . . It wasn’t like that.”
“Then what was it like?”
Magical. Camille couldn’t stop thinking about Finn. She couldn’t stop wishing things could have worked out differently. She wondered how long it would take him to move on to his next conquest. Maybe she should have stayed and fought for their relationship. Then she realized that the right guy would fight for her. Finn wasn’t a fighter, though. He challenged her, made her question herself, made her wonder . . . “It was just a thing. And now it’s over.”
Billy knocked back the last of the prosecco. “Camille Adams, I have loved you ever since the day you shared your PB and J with me in third grade. But I’ve never been able to light you up the way he does. Just now, when I said his name, you nearly fainted.”
“I did not. And for what it’s worth, you’re my best friend. I love you, too.”
“Just not that way.” He clutched at his heart.
“Stop it.”
“Not until you admit I’m right. And Julie’s right. You fell in love with that guy.”
“Maybe I did, just a little. Or a lot.”
“Then why are you standing here with me? You’re going to let him walk away? You idiot. I love you enough to tell you to go after a guy who actually has a shot at making you happy. If you don’t go for it, you’ll break all three of our hearts.”
“All four,” Julie corrected, coming down from her room. “Hiya, Billy.”
“Hey, gorgeous.”
“Leave me be, both of you,” Camille said.
Julie left her mom arguing with Billy about Finn. Mom didn’t seem to realize that the more she pretended she didn’t like him, the more obvious it was that she was totally in love with him. Julie wished her mom would admit that she’d finally found a guy who could actually make her happy.
Jumping on her bike, she sped into town. Another cool thing about Finn was that whatever it was he’d said to her mother on that last morning in France had caused her to unbend a little. Since they’d been back, Mom hadn’t been so helicoptery. Only yesterday, Papi had bought them both new bikes—really good mountain bikes with compression brakes—and they made a pact that they’d go for a ride together every evening.
Julie was headed to the beach, because the surf report had just come up, and it was a good one. Tarek and his older sister were going to meet her at the Surf Shack. They were back in town, too, and they’d invited her to go surfing with them. Julie wasn’t great at it, but she knew the basics, and today the waves were just right.
The beach was super crowded with little kids along the shore, and a line of surfers out at the break, waiting to catch a wave. She felt a little thrill of anticipation. There was nothing quite like the sensation of riding a wave, even for a few seconds.