After hearing me talk for a solid hour, she wasn’t at all surprised to learn that I’d been reluctant to fall in love. She gave me some more things to think about, additional questions to ask myself, and I made an appointment for the following week.
I saw Margot and Claire that night, and they told me how proud they were.
“I think it’s wonderful you’re seeing a therapist,” Margot said. “I love mine.”
“You’re doing the right thing,” Claire agreed. “Have you come to any conclusions?”
I took a deep breath. “I miss him like crazy, and I love him.”
Claire shook her head. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
“What about the things he wants?” Margot asked. I think she understood where he was coming from even better than I did. “Can you handle it?”
“I think I can,” I said. “I have no idea what kind of girlfriend I’ll be, but I can’t bear the thought of him with anyone else or being with anyone else myself, so if he wants a girlfriend, it’s gonna be me.”
They grinned. “When are you going to talk to him?” asked Claire.
“Soon. Maybe this weekend.” I made a face. “But I have to work up my nerve. Twice now I’ve told this man I love him, and it ended badly both times.”
“Third time’s the charm,” Margot said confidently.
I really hoped she was right.
The next day, I texted him. Hey, can we talk?
He didn’t answer for hours, and when he did, it was disappointing. In London for a shoot. Home on the 7th. Unless you want to talk on the phone.
The 7th…my heart sank. So you’ll miss the wedding?
Unfortunately, yes. Scheduling mixup. I talked to Alex about it.
OK. Get in touch when you’re back?
I will.
I set my phone next to me on the couch and stared at it, my bottom lip caught between my teeth. It was hard to believe I hadn’t wanted to go to the wedding with him when he’d first asked. Now I was devastated he’d miss it.
At least he wouldn’t have to suffer through my toast. I was still struggling to put it together, although something Alex had said the morning after his birthday had been buzzing around in my brain ever since.
There is no magic.
And I knew what he’d meant—I’d been saying the same thing for years.
But now…I was going to disagree.
Twenty-Nine
JAIME
Alex and Nolan’s wedding day dawned clear, bright, and crisp. I woke up in a surprisingly good mood, considering I’d been dreading making the toast for a year and Quinn wouldn’t be there tonight to get me through it. But I felt optimistic about both my words and the evening ahead—and I was genuinely happy for Alex and Nolan. I had a new appreciation for their relationship.
After breakfast I took a walk, breathing in the cool spring air and going over my little speech in my head again and again.
I spent the late morning and early afternoon at the salon and then dressing in my old bedroom at my parents’ house, where the car would pick us up. Getting ready in my old bathroom reminded me of being a teenager—and crushing on Quinn, of course. Who’d have thought, after all this time, he’d be the love of my life?
The thought gave me shivers.
Since I was the only female attendant, I’d gotten to pick my own outfit, and I’d chosen a gorgeous light gray dress that coordinated with the grooms’ charcoal gray suits. (Light gray was on the list of Approved Wardrobe Colors Nolan had given family to guide their choice of wedding attire.)
I wore diamond earrings, borrowed from Margot, and the necklace Quinn had given me, and I had my hair done up in a twist, which showed off the jewelry and the cutout in the back of the dress.
Both the ceremony and reception were held at the Ford Piquette Avenue Plant, which sounds like a crazy place to hold a wedding, but I had to hand it to Nolan—the place looked fantastic. It was the perfect spot.
The industrial elements—Model T’s parked along the room’s perimeter, the exposed brick on the walls and ductwork on the ceiling, the huge factory windows, the wood-planked floor—gave it a rustic, masculine feeling. The flowers, linens and party lights lent softer elegance, and the fading sun cast the entire room in pale amber light. Almost two hundred guests were seated in rows of white folding chairs.
A string quartet played as our parents and Nolan’s were seated, then Nolan’s brother Sean took my arm and we walked up the aisle together. Once we’d reached the officiant, we split to each side, just as we’d rehearsed the previous night.
When I turned to face the back of the room, I saw him
Quinn.
He’d snuck in somehow, and he was standing at the back, dressed in a dark suit and looking so handsome he took my breath away. My flowers jittered in my hands.
He’s here! He came!
A moment later, Alex and Nolan were walking up the aisle hand in hand, and I found myself completely choked up. They looked so happy, so in love, so sure of themselves. I thought about what it had taken for them to get here—as a gay couple, getting married wasn’t something they took for granted—and I felt lucky to witness it.
I peeked out at Quinn. He smiled at me—not huge, but it made my heart pound all the same. I started thinking about what I was going to say to him and realized I was totally unprepared.
Damn it! How dare he surprise me like this! I wanted to get it right this time, and I hadn’t practiced!
OK, no panicking. Maybe it will be even better if it’s unrehearsed…just say what you’re feeling without holding back.