“I’m doing good.” As a policy, I rarely, if ever, gave vanilla answers to any kind of question, but I was fresh out of colorful responses to that question. But How are you? weighted with just enough enunciation to imply disaster was tiptoeing behind me? I got asked that question a lot.
“How did your appointment go?” Lily asked.
“It went good.” Another vanilla response. I was just so tired of talking about me and the unsaid of what might happen sitting beneath the surface of every similar question. I knew people asked because they cared and were concerned—I knew I’d be doing the same if situations were reversed—but I’d answered enough questions about how I was doing and how my appointments had gone to last my next ten lifetimes. I needed a break. I needed to talk about someone else’s issues instead of my own.
My gaze lingered on where Colt and Lily’s hands were joined. Colt was a big guy, and Lily was small for a woman. I would have expected Colt’s hand to swallow Lily’s entirely, but instead—with their fingers laced together as they were—they looked close to the same size. “We’ve got to figure out what to do about your brother.”
“I agree. He hasn’t been looking good, or even healthy, for months.” Lily’s gaze drifted behind me to where I guessed Jesse was still stewing in his boots. “He’s worried about you though. I don’t think he’ll get past this until you’ve delivered and both you and the baby are okay.”
I smiled at Lily. She might have changed in some ways, in some good ways, but she was still about as sweet and selfless as they came. Where she’d thought I’d been referring to Jesse needing help pertaining to me, I’d actually meant he needed help regarding her and her choice of boyfriends.
“Don’t worry—I’ve got that covered. I’m going to start slipping Xanax into his coffee in the morning and another in his cup with dinner. He’ll be a happy, unconcerned potato for the next few months.” I angled myself beside Lily just enough so I could see Jesse. He was in the same spot, arms crossed and body rigid. His expression was the same—cross and rigid. “But that’s not anxiety right there. That’s unbridled fury. Boundless anger bordering on rage. There isn’t a pill for that.”
As quickly as Lily looked at her brother, she looked away. I knew it was difficult for her to know that her big brother didn’t approve of her boyfriend. I knew she felt as though she’d disappointed him in some way and that it killed her. I also knew she wouldn’t give up someone she cared about because someone else she cared about wanted her to. It was in notions like that one that I saw more of myself in Lily than not.
“I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried talking to him.” Lily absently played with the hem of her dress as she stole another glance at her brother. “But all he ever answers with is him not wanting to talk about Colt and me in the same sentence, or he gets up and leaves the room.” She exhaled what sounded like weeks of emotional weight. “I can’t talk to him because talking requires the other party to actually engage in conversation.”
“Okay, so the talking plan’s a bust. Why don’t you try something else?”
Colt and Lily looked at me, waiting.
“Why don’t you try showing him instead?”
“Showing him what?” Colt asked, shuffling in closer so the three of us formed a loose circle.
“What your relationship is about.” I lifted a shoulder. “He’s under the impression you’re no good for one another and that your relationship could never work. You guys are under a different impression, so why don’t you show him that?”
Lily’s brows pinched together. “How do we show him that when he’s having a tough time being in the same ginormous barn packed with people as Colt? Not sure that’ll work if we show up at breakfast tomorrow and try to slide into the chairs across from him.”
From prior experience, I knew that was true. Jesse had never said anything disrespectful to their faces, but his actions couldn’t be considered respectful. The last time we’d been in town and Colt and Lily had showed up to the Walker kitchen table at dinnertime, Jesse had dropped his napkin into his chair and claimed he had to finish watering the livestock. The time before that, a few fence posts had needed fixing. The time before that, the barn needed a fresh coat of paint. When it came to suffering though a meal with Colt, Jesse had no shortage of excuses for slipping out at the last minute.
“So how about when I see you guys making your way to the table tomorrow morning, I’ll plop down in Jesse’s lap, and we’ll see if he’s able to escape so swiftly then?”
Lily giggled at the picture playing out in her mind. “I like your creativity, but I’m not sure it would work.”
“Why? I think it sounds like an outstanding plan.” When I glanced at Colt to see if I could get him to join my side, I found all his attention was focused on Jesse. Yeah, because making eye contact and challenging the fuming man balancing precariously on the ledge of sanity was a bright idea.
“Well, because Jesse has been throwing around bales of hay and bags of feed like he was juggling snap peas since middle school. I doubt maneuvering the tiniest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen off his lap is going to slow him down from making his escape.” Lily motioned at my stomach like she was proving her point.
I looked down to see if I’d gone from size Saturn to size Pluto. Nope. My stomach was still creating its own gravitational field. “It’s worth a try, oh you of little faith.” I thrust my hand behind my back. “And it’s better than letting these two continue their stare off from fifty feet apart.”