I think it was the hand draped across my leg that triggered level two of my advance. Not that it would be any more successful than the last one, but I was a slow learner. And persistent if nothing else. “We can’t because it will make my heart rate amp up, which in your warped head translates to it going off like a grenade inside of my chest, which would mean you’d have to spend the rest of your life without me which, I agree, is a tragedy if there ever was one.”
He was smiling. That was a good thing. Jesse didn’t smile as much as he used to. He still smiled more than the average person, but his smile-to-frown ratio had been drastically affected.
“But what if I could keep my heartbeat nice and steady, a solid eighty beats a minute?” I asked.
He gave me a look that said he knew better. He was right. But just because I’d never been able to do that without achieving heart rate records didn’t mean I couldn’t. I’d just never had the proper motivation to try to keep it low. I had the proper motivation now.
“Well?” I pressed when he stayed quiet.
“Well nothing. What you’re suggesting . . .” His head shook. “It’s impossible.”
“Improbable maybe. But not impossible.”
“You”—his hand squeezed my leg—“you’re insane.”
“And you’re about to join me if you abstain for another three months. All of that abstaining”—I cleared my throat as my eyes darted to his lap—“is like poison to your body. In your efforts to save my life, you can’t let yours be threatened.”
I scooted closer to him, my hopes just starting to lift, when he reached across me and threw open the door. Nothing like a flood of fresh air and getting denied—again—to clear a girl’s head.
“That’s just plain mean,” I grumbled as I climbed out of the cab, Jesse holding one of my hands so I didn’t take a spill. Center of gravity—totally thrown off now.
Jesse crawled out behind me. “Need me to grab anything?”
“I need you to grab lots of things,” I muttered, adjusting my dress because hello! I was going for demure cleavage, not porn-star cleavage. “But why don’t you grab Garth and Josie’s engagement present from the bed right now, and I’ll try working on those other things later?”
He leaned over the side of the truck to grab their present. I took no shame in checking out his backside and wondering if I’d ever be able to sculpt that level of perfection. Probably not.
“I’m not budging on this.” His voice was light and easy, but I knew the weight of his words.
“Good. I’m not budging on my personal agenda either.” I crossed my arms. “And we both know who’s more cunning and holds more championships in the sex department, Jesse, because look at what I’m holding.” I raised my hand, my fingers pinched together as if I were holding something in the air. “Your V card. I wanted it, and it’s mine. I wanted to marry you, and you’re mine.” I kept his imaginary V card in the air, ignoring his eye roll, and stole a few steps closer. “I want you, here and now.”
His jaw tightened, along with his hands that curled tighter around the retrieved present.
“And I’ll have you somewhere around here, sometime around now.” I circled my finger around our surroundings and let my gaze penetrate his until I knew my message had been received. I was past tired of this abstinence game. My heart was a little twitchy, not some trap about to be sprung. The doctor had advised against all sorts of “vigorous” activities, and while that might have been the ideal way to enjoy intimacy, it didn’t have to be the only way. The whole “beggars can’t be choosers” things was especially relevant at this impasse in my life.
His shoulders rose and fell from his sigh. “I love you, Rowen.” He kissed my temple before starting for the barn, where the party was in full swing from the sounds of it. “But no.”
I watched him walk away, admiring him when I should have been glaring at him from his continued denial. It would be easier to endure the no-sex policy if I wasn’t married to quite possibly the sexiest man in existence. “I love you too, Jesse,” I said to myself, starting toward him when he stopped to wait for me. “But yes.”
When I made my way to him and he looped an arm around my waist while managing to balance the present with his other hand, I made myself drop the subject. For now. The harder I pushed my side, the harder he pushed his, so I’d just have to come at it from a different angle. One he wouldn’t expect and one he hopefully wouldn’t see coming until I had him on his back and clothing free.
“Is this an engagement party or a bachelor party?” I said as we closed in on the barn.
“Knowing those two, it’s probably both.”
Garth had moved into the old farmhouse so he could keep fixing it up between work. Given his work included rodeoing and running a ranch, he hadn’t gotten very far in the fix-up department, but it was still a nice enough place without all of the updates and finishing touches. The barn was a ways off from the house, and it was giant. It was almost as large as the barn at Willow Springs, and compared to the modest farmhouse it shared a plot of land with, the barn seemed to overwhelm the entire area. With the country music blaring from it, seeming to shake its foundation, along with the shouts within, the barn only further defined the land.
The large double doors were propped open, allowing a steady stream of people to flow in and out of party headquarters.