Home > Losers Weepers (Lost & Found #4)(13)

Losers Weepers (Lost & Found #4)(13)
Author: Nicole Williams

The room got quiet. Real quiet. Other than the sound of the second hand moving on the wall clock across from my bed, silence filled the room. It didn’t last though. It couldn’t with what I’d said and who I’d said it to.

Leaning over me even farther, Josie lowered her face so close to mine I could see each and every fleck of bronze in her eyes. I would have been content to spend the rest of my life counting each of them too.

“Fine. You want to give up and roll over after a day and a half? That’s your choice. Be beaten. Give up. Accept you’re doomed. That’s your prerogative.” Her voice wasn’t quaking as it had been earlier—it was so strong and seamless it was like she’d been rehearsing this speech for weeks. “You go right on ahead and play the victim and tell yourself you’re never going to walk again. But don’t you dare, Garth Black, for one fricking minute, try to order me or any of us”—she jabbed her pointer finger toward Rowen and Jesse—“that we have to accept the same thing. You don’t want to hold on to hope, big surprise, but don’t try to take a shit on all of ours.”

After that, she waited. For me to say something or argue or for what she’d said to settle in, I didn’t know, but I knew the way I felt. Nothing she could say and no amount of time she could wait would get me to change my mind.

Jesse was just clearing his throat and stepping closer, probably to say something that would solve all our problems along with world hunger, when I heard another set of footsteps enter the room. They didn’t travel far before the newcomer stopped and cleared his throat . . . saved by the doc.

“The ambulance will be here in a half hour to escort you home if that’s still want you want.” I heard the edge in his voice—he wasn’t quite, but almost, as pissed as Josie that all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. “As your doctor, it is my duty to strongly advise you not to leave until we’ve had some time to more accurately diagnose you and give you a chance to recover—”

“But this isn’t a jail, and you can’t hold me against my will, now can you?” I said, trying not to laugh at the word recover. Last I’d heard, “recover” meant someone would get better.

“No, it isn’t a jail. Though in your case, I wish it were.”

Josie’s mouth dropped as she gaped at the doctor as if he were as batshit crazy as I was.

“Well, thanks for everything, doc. I feel like a new man,” I said dryly. I didn’t miss Rowen leaning into Jesse and hissing something into his ear that I couldn’t quite make out, though I picked up enough to decipher she thought I should be declared insane or have my ass kicked.

“I’m going to send you off with discharge orders, some prescriptions, and a couple of referrals for doctors in your area who specialize in back injuries. I know you seem to hate taking it, but I strongly suggest you take my advice of making an appointment to go to see one of them immediately.”

Josie approached the doc and took the handful of paperwork from him. She clutched it against her chest as if she were afraid someone would rip it away from her. “You can’t just let him check out, Doctor Payton,” she whispered in a tone that suggested she was begging. “Can’t you talk to him again? Try to make him stay?”

I’d only heard Josie come close to begging a few times in my life—she was too prideful a person to beg—and hearing her do it because of me made me feel about as low as I’d ever felt, and I’d been in so many low places so many times I was a contender for the record.

“I can’t force him to stay. I’m a doctor—I help the people I can who want to be helped.” The doctor’s gaze drifted to where I was laid out, immobile and stubborn. He was a good man. I could tell that from the few words we’d shared, but he knew no amount of talk or debate would get me to see his point of view. “Even if I could force him to stay, it doesn’t take a psychiatric evaluation to see that he doesn’t want to be helped. Good luck to you, Miss Gibson.” The good doc exited the room, moving on to whom I guessed was the next patient on his list, one who actually wanted his help.

Josie stood frozen for a minute, clutching the paperwork close to her. Every breath she took seemed to get longer and louder until it sounded as though she was gasping for air. “I need to get some fresh air.” She rushed for the door like she couldn’t get outside quickly enough.

“I’ll go with you.” Rowen followed her, but not before firing a potent glare at me.

I pretended I hadn’t noticed.

About two seconds after the girls had gone, Jesse’s boot-steps echoed through the room. He got so close to me he bumped into the bedrails. “What are you doing, Black?” His voice hinted at exhaustion. “I thought you kicked your self-destruction habit months ago.”

A sigh escaped past my lips before I knew it was coming. Oh well. If I could sigh in front of anyone without them judging me or reading some deeper meaning into it, it was Jess. “You can never kick a habit like that,” I said, staring at the place Josie had just been standing. “You can only wrestle it into submission. After this though, I’m afraid it’s wrestled me into submission.”

Jesse’s hand wound around the bedrail. “Then fight back.”

Another sigh—this one a bit more final sounding. “You need both a literal and theoretical backbone to fight back. And I’ve got neither.”

YOU WANT TO know what the longest, most uncomfortable ambulance ride in the world feels like? After what I’d just gone through, I could have explained it in precise detail, recapping every last awkward moment.

   
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