My eyebrows came together. I hadn’t realized that been one of my identifiers in the Jesse Walker fine print.
Suddenly, she smacked the back of my head. Not a hold-nothing-back whack, but hard enough it stung. I was about to unleash Rowen’s favorite go-to phrase when her roommate went off the rails when she surprised me with one more whack.
Unstable was the first word that came to mind.
“Oww,” I said, twisting in my seat so she couldn’t surprise me with another one.
“I warned you to cut out the self-deprecation act. It was old two minutes ago. Now it’s just making me violent.”
I should have taken a cab. Or the bus. Or hell, hitched a ride like I was half-worried I’d be doing anyway.
“When I call you Sex God, that’s because you are one. I don’t give out compliments liberally, especially sex compliments. So stop acting like a humble douche, take Sex God like a man, and let yourself strut a bit.”
My eyebrows came together again, but when Alex lifted her hand, that crease ironed our real fast.
“Good boy,” she praised, returning her hand to the steering wheel. “Any man who can make a girl make the sounds I’ve heard coming from Rowen’s room when you’re in town is a bona fide Sex God. Any guy whose girl is still flushing the next morning is a certified Sex God. And any guy that can keep that look in Rowen’s eyes even when he’s away is the f**king king of Sex Gods.”
I didn’t know what to reply to that. That was standard when it came to my conversations with Alex.
“Any questions?” she said as I continued my temporary muteness.
“No,” I said at last, wanting to steer the conversation far away from Rowen’s and my relationship between the sheets. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Alex hearing, witnessing, and knowing the things I did to Rowen, so I decided to take . . . Sex God as a compliment and move on. Hopefully we’d stay “moved on” from that conversation for the rest of eternity.
“Good. Because we don’t really have time for questions.” Alex sped up to an old warehouse and hit the brakes at the last possible second. Good God, it was a miracle we’d arrived in one piece.
“Why’s that?”
“Because once we get inside, the music will be so loud the only way to communicate is through sign language, facial expressions, or bumping uglies.”
Chalk up yet another cringe-worthy phrase from Alex.
“We’re here?” I glanced at the warehouse again. It looked like no human had stepped foot in it in decades. No light streamed from any of the windows, and more of it seemed to be crumbling than standing. It was a horror movie director’s dream.
“Welcome to the Underground. The most prestigious club in the city.” A guy appeared at Alex’s door and opened it. Valet parking? I hadn’t seen that coming. “Not exactly what you were expecting?” Alex said before sliding out of her seat.
“Not exactly.” I opened my door and got out.
“It’s not much from the outside, but just wait until you get through the doors.” Alex came up beside me and nudged me. “Haven’t you ever heard it’s what’s on the inside that counts?”
I glanced at her. “I didn’t realize that applied to clubs.”
She wove her arm through mine and tugged me toward what I assumed was the entrance. “It applies to everything. Oh, and once we’re inside, stay close, Cowboy. You might be sporting different digs, but if the dudes even catch a whiff of cow shit on you, your ass is grass.”
I rolled my eyes. “I can handle myself. This isn’t my first rodeo.”
“Yeah, saying ‘rodeo’ isn’t going to make people believe you’re not a hick.”
“I’m not a hick,” I said matter-of-factly.
Alex made a sound between exasperated and irritated. “No, you’re a self-deprecating pain in my ass.”
I smiled to myself. Alex was something of a pain in my ass too, but she was growing on me. “But you put up with me because I’m a Sex God. Right?”
“You’re not my Sex God,” she huffed. “Since I’m not reaping the benefits from your mad sexual skills, you’ll only get a free pass from me for so long, so shape up or ship out, Cowboy.”
“Yeah, Alex? You calling me Cowboy isn’t going to convince anyone I’m not some dumb hick either.”
“Whatever, Pain-In-My-Ass Walker,” she muttered as the door swung open when we were a few feet in front of it. Either there was a camera on the door, a peephole, or a poltergeist was manning it. “And my warning to stay close wasn’t just because the guys might go gang-busters on you. The girls in there are the biggest threat. They catch sight of you, and their grubby little paws will be all over you like you’re a rung on the ladder to social climbing. And if anyone catches wind that you’re the Sex God you are, I hope you’ve got stamina, Cowboy, because every last cock-crazy female in there will hold you down and do filthy, filthy things to you.”
If there was a way to go back in time, I would have travelled back ten seconds and stuck my fingers in my ears before Alex got out that last bit.
Thankfully, a guy who had to be almost twice my size stopped us just inside the door. He didn’t say anything, but Alex obviously knew what he was waiting for. She fumbled around in her purse for her phone. Scrolling through her texts, she flashed one in front of the guy.
Without so much as a nod, he stepped aside and let us pass. We walked down a long, dark hall, and with every step we took, a beat that shook my insides grew heavier. I couldn’t make out the music or if it was coming from above or below us, but when it started shaking the hallway walls, I knew Alex was right. It was going to be loud.