“I wanted to.”
Aaron set his mug on the table and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “It’s my intention to pay you back for everything you’ve given us. And it goes without saying how grateful I am, although I want to say it. Josie’s been telling me how much you did for her and the kids while I was gone.”
“They’re my family too.” And they needed me. I sipped hot coffee, trying not to let even a drop of resentment surface and ruin what had been a nice night. The nicest Christmas Eve I could remember.
“We are,” said Josie firmly.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her.
“Great. And before you ask, I’m seeing the doctor on Friday before work,” she said.
“Good.”
“I went to a meeting yesterday,” Aaron said.
I stared at my brother. “You did?”
He nodded. “And again today, and I’m going tomorrow.”
“That’s awesome, man.” I noticed how good he looked as well. Clear eyed and level-headed. “I’m proud of you.”
“You were right. I wasn’t acting like a husband or father. I wasn’t acting like a man. Not the man I want to be.”
I nodded. “You can get there.”
“Thank you,” he said, his eyes shiny. “For not giving up on me.”
I struggled to reply. My throat had gone tight. “You’re welcome.”
“So tell me what you’ve been up to.” My brother leaned back and picked up his coffee. “Working any jobs?”
“A few here and there. One just came in, actually.”
Josie frowned sadly. “I wish you didn’t have to do that.”
“Josie,” my brother warned. “We don’t need to judge.”
“I’m not judging.” She shook her head, touching her hand to her chest. “And believe me, I’m grateful for the financial help he’s been able to give us. But I worry every day that…” Her voice trailed off.
“I know,” I admitted. “I worry sometimes, too.”
“Do you? You always seem so cool and calm about it.”
“Because there’s no sense in worrying. It doesn’t change anything. But lately…” Fuck. Did I want to do this?
“Lately what?” she pressed.
I decided to brave it. “Lately, like just over the last few days, I’ve been thinking about my carpentry business. I kind of miss it.”
“You were so good at it,” my brother said with conviction. “I never understood why you gave up.”
“I didn’t make as much doing it as I made…doing other things. And I always felt so fidgety and unsettled when I stayed in one place too long. But maybe…I don’t know. Maybe I’m outgrowing that.”
“Why don’t you try again?” Josie asked.
“I could.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I’ll give it some thought.”
“I’d help you,” Aaron offered. “I’d go in with you if you wanted a partner. I don’t have any money to put up, but I could apply for a loan once I got a job. We could save up. Invest in some more equipment. Advertise. I know a lot of contractors who might hire us.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Josie enthused. “You guys would be a fabulous team.”
“I’ll give it some thought,” I said again. I’d probably have to get a legit job in the meantime too, until we got on our feet. Maybe the stoneworks would take me back part time.
“What made you start thinking about that again?” Josie wondered.
“I’ve been helping a friend of mine redo her kitchen, and I’m really enjoying it.”
“Her kitchen? Hmmmm.” Josie’s eyebrows rose. “Very interesting. Who is this friend?”
“Just someone I met recently.”
“Is the someone pretty?”
My neck got hot, but I answered truthfully. “Yeah.”
“Are you…dating her?” The disbelief in my brother’s voice told me how well he knew me.
“No.” I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, Claire’s hurt expression still fresh in my mind. “We were just hanging out. But I fucked it up. As usual.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No. I don’t know. Maybe.” Did I? Would I feel better if I talked this through? Maybe if I told them what had transpired, they’d be able to tell me I’d done the right thing, validate my decision to end things the way I had.
Josie laughed sympathetically. “The look on your face is pure agony.”
“Talk,” my brother said. “What did you do?”
I decided to try it. “I really like this girl. I just met her last week, but right away, something about her got to me. She’s really different than anyone I’ve ever met.”
Josie smiled. “How so?”
“She’s just…nice. Sweet. Smart. Fun. And so damn talented. She’s an artist and she creates the most incredible things, but she has no confidence in herself. Doesn’t think she’s good enough to sell what she makes, so she doesn’t even try.”
“How does she support herself?” asked Aaron.
“She’s an art teacher at an elementary school. And she’s really good at that, too. I took her to this wedding on Friday night, and all her co-workers were saying how incredible she is at her job.”