After the hair, there was no way I could justify wearing those ugly-ass nonslip shoes to work anymore, and even though I almost fell and broke my backside in the kitchen every time I walked in to pick up an order, I was back to wearing four-inch heels that cost more than the rent on my apartment. The changes hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“I need you to go.” Funny, I had said almost the exact same thing to Nassir a week ago. The look this guy gave me was nothing like the soul-stripping, heart-crushing one those predatory eyes had leveled at me. This guy looked puzzled and then panicked.
“Did I do something wrong?” I think his voice actually squeaked and it made me cringe. I sighed again and straightened my clothes while I leaned over to grab his shirt off the floor.
I tossed it at him. “No, but I’m not into this anymore.” I sounded just as cold and callous as the man I needed to forget, and that made my skin pull tight.
Wide eyes stared at me like I had lost my mind, so I got to my feet and moved toward the door. “I’m sorry. I know I practically guaranteed you a piece of ass, but this isn’t working for me.” He was what wasn’t working for me and he never would because he was the wrong guy.
He pulled his shirt on and messed up his already tousled hair. God, he looked so innocent, so clean, and so uncomplicated. My heart twisted and my stomach pulled. He looked boring and basic. I wanted to slap Nassir across the face for pulling my blinders off and making me see everything that surrounded me here in Denver without the rose-colored glasses I had been wearing since I landed here months ago.
“Um . . . okay.” He got to his feet and reached for the hoodie I had pulled off of him in a rush. “I really hope I didn’t do anything wrong. You seemed into it.”
I tucked the longer chunk of hair that covered my face behind my ear so I could look him in the eye.
“I was into it, but now I’m not. I really am sorry.”
His brow furrowed and his nostrils flared. “You’re a goddamn cocktease is what you are.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh that snapped out before I could bite it back. “You have no fucking idea.” I had made a fortune off of being a tease. I was the best at making promises to men I never intended to keep. Kind of like my promise that I was never going back home. I shivered at the thought.
He gave me a scathing look as he swept past me out the door. “And that scar on your shoulder is ugly as fuck.”
Man, he even made leaving him hanging uncomplicated. With his last words, any kind of guilt I might’ve been feeling fled as I slammed the door shut behind him.
I couldn’t imagine the fight I would have on my hands if I tried to tell Nassir to stop in the middle of something like that, especially after years and years of the back-and-forth between us. I knew he would stop if I asked him to, he always respected the distance I insisted we keep between us, but I knew if he ever got his hands on me, he would taunt, torment, tease, torture his way right back to where he wanted to be and there would be no more stopping. He was not a man to be denied, and I had always taken great pride in being the one thing, the one person, to elude his very clever grasp even if all I wanted to do was let him hold me close and keep me safe. I was too smart to believe in the false sense of security a man like Nassir offered. Everything about him and his lifestyle was dangerous even if I knew he would treat me like I was his most prized possession.
I refused to be his anything . . . let alone his belonging.
I snorted at myself as I locked the door and headed to my bathroom. Not so clever anymore if all I could think about was him after I had purposely sent him on his way. I needed a shower to wash the feeling of defeat and wrongness off; then I was going to curl into bed and finish the book I was reading. My love life sucked, so I saw no reason not to live vicariously through a cute teenage girl that was in love with a dead sexy alien with attitude who turned into beams of light. It was fun and made me forget about my own nonsense for a minute. And the fact that the hero of the story was exotic, dark, and mysterious didn’t hurt things either.
After I was curled into bed and realized I was reading the same page over and over again and not comprehending a single word, I shut the Kindle down and picked my phone up off the nightstand next to my bed. I scrolled through the contacts, purposely skipping over the N section, and found the number I was looking for. It was late but I knew she would answer. I didn’t have anyone I really called a friend, but Reeve Black came close. She grew up in the same kind of life I did. She understood why it was hard to let anyone in and she helped me when I needed someone to spring me from the hospital after I got shot. She also promised not to tell me “told you so” when I came crawling back home with my tail tucked between my legs.
Her cell rang once before she answered. “What’s up, bitch?”
I could hear the noise of the strip club in the background. I tended to try to forget she was working for Nassir. She had taken over Spanky’s and made it as reputable as a strip club run by a crook could be.
“I just kicked a guy that was a really good kisser out of my apartment.” It wasn’t what I meant to say but the words just sort of tripped off my tongue.
I heard Reeve laugh and then she told me to hold on while the noise and music in the background faded away. When she was somewhere quieter she said, “He must not have been that good if you made him leave.”
“No, he was; really, really good, but it felt so wrong and I haven’t been laid in almost a year and I’m going crazy. It’s all Nassir’s fault.”