“Fuck, I just got the weekend off,” he returned.
He was thinking I was planning payback time.
“Can we do lunch on Wednesday?” I asked.
“Mike and me bought a case this weekend, which means we’re officially over our recommended caseload. Until we clear some, lunch is a memory for me.”
I moved to the chair at the desk and sat in it before saying, “We need to talk, Merry.”
“What’re we doin’ right now, Cher?”
“I’m on a break.”
“So call me when Ethan goes to bed.”
“That’ll be late.”
There was humor in his voice again when he replied, “Not like you aren’t used to late nights.”
“This talk we need to have needs to be face-to-face.”
Merry had no reply to that, humor-filled or not.
I rushed to fill the silence.
“What we had…before…it was good. We fucked it up. We’re still fuckin’ it up, playin’ these games. We should sit down, talk it through, get back to that good. It’s the best thing for both of us, Merry, and we both know it.”
He didn’t agree. He didn’t anything, so I rushed to fill that silence too.
“And Trent said they just wanted to see Ethan more. I didn’t want to talk about it when he was in the mood to push it, and things went south from there. Before I blow it up with them, maybe I should sit down with Ethan and see how he feels about it. He likes his dad, Merry. He likes them both and he digs havin’ a brother and sister. Maybe he actually wants more time with them too and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings by tellin’ me that.”
He finally spoke, and when he did, it came gentle.
“Consider this, sweetheart. Maybe, this bitch has claws, and she’s got more time to sink them into Ethan, that’s not a good idea.”
This was a concern.
But it was my concern, not Merry’s.
“I still think that’s my first step, talking to Ethan.”
“I hear you. And maybe you’re right. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what you can to know what you’re sendin’ him into and if that’s healthy or if it’s not. Bottom line, your ex is a junkie. He’s recovering, but that’s still gotta give you pause. I know from the way you reacted that woman freaks you out, and she does that for a reason. Just find out what you’re dealin’ with before you make a deal with them that involves your boy.”
“Okay, then, maybe I’ll talk to Tanner about doing some legwork.”
“Tanner’s expensive.”
This was true.
This was also my concern, not Merry’s.
“Merry—”
“I’m on this.”
“I don’t want you to be on this.”
“You didn’t want me to put your storm windows in either, but they’re in. I’ll also point out that you spent your mornin’ lookin’ into the program your kid’s stepmom is neck-deep in, not puttin’ those windows in. I get you know how to go it alone, Cher. In this, you’re just not going to.”
“That’s my call.”
“Sorry you think that way, brown eyes, but the call’s been made and it’s not yours at all.”
Shit, I was getting pissed.
“This is why we need to talk face-to-face, so I can explain to you I don’t want you in my shit.”
“You already did that face-to-face, and right now you’re doin’ it over the phone. But, babe, it needs to sink in we don’t agree. I’m in. With your work schedule, mine, and the fact you need to spend time with your kid, we get face-to-face time, we’ll be face-to-face with you on your back and me movin’ inside you.”
Shit. Now I was getting turned on.
“You had a window you could slide in there, gorgeous. You timed it right. Now Cher’s closed for business.”
So much humor was back, his reply of “Right” was shaking.
That meant I was no longer pissed or turned on.
I was angry.
“If you think with the life I lead I need some badass cop playin’ games with me, you are very wrong,” I told him bitingly.
He didn’t miss a beat, returning, “Cher, with your life and the dry spell you endured, you need a lot of things and you’re gettin’ them all from me.”
Of course, Lieutenant Garrett Merrick of the ’burg’s PD didn’t miss my dry spell.
Fuck.
“That shit’s exactly what I’m talkin’ about, Merry. I’ve been down a road where it wasn’t my choice to be on. You think for a second I’m gonna be forced down a road I don’t like where I’m at again, you think wrong. There is nowhere for this to go that’s good and you know it, just like me.”
“The only thing I know is, what’s at the end of the road we’re on is unknown. Along the way, I break through that fortress you’ve built around you and manage to extract your head from your ass, it’ll be worth the trip.”
“And then what, Merry?” I snapped.
“I don’t know, Cher. That’s the point. That’s life. You have no clue what you’ll get along the journey. But you won’t get dick you stay in one place, spinning your wheels.”
“If that place is a safe place for me and my kid, I’m good to spin my wheels for eternity.”
“You may be safe, but are you happy?”