As soon as we get outside, we discover that the rain has reduced to a drizzle. As the Brighton sea breeze whips through my hair, I feel it sweep some of my panic away. My chest still feels tight and my palms are sweaty, but Megan is clinging on to my arm like she’s afraid I could blow away at any moment. I couldn’t be more thankful to her.
“Do you want to grab some candy floss from the pier?” she asks. “The sugar might help.”
I smile and nod. “Sounds good.”
We stroll beneath the bright lights of the pier entrance, and I can see the waves crashing under us through the gaps in the wooden planks. We pick the stall with the brightest selection of candy floss and share a big white-and-pink swirl. I pick a large, fluffy section and put it in my mouth, letting the sugar dissolve in fizzes and pops over my tongue.
“Mmm, this is lovely,” I say. I lower my eyes. “Thanks for what you did back there. You rescued me—I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
Megan smiles, her hair flapping around her head in the breeze. She pushes it back off her face and sweeps it up into a loose bun on top of her head. It looks effortlessly cool. “It’s no problem at all. Do you want to use my phone to call your provider and tell them your phone’s been stolen?”
I nod. “Thanks. Luckily it’s got a password on it, and I hardly have any minutes left on my contract so they won’t be able to make a ton of calls or anything. I really hope the person who picked it up hands it in. I love that phone.” And everything on it, I think. Pictures of Noah and me. Text conversations. Even the case was special. Noah had stolen it off me one night and doodled all across the back in black Sharpie. It was my favourite case ever.
When I finish, I hand the phone back to Megan. “All done,” I say.
“Oh, good.” She sighs. “Look, Penny—I’ve been meaning to talk to you for some time, but there hasn’t been a convenient moment.”
“What do you mean?”
“I really want to say that I’m sorry. For everything that happened earlier this year. It . . . wasn’t me. I’m sorry for telling everyone about Girl Online. I feel so dumb, because I actually used to enjoy all your posts and I was just jealous that you were going out with a pop star. It seemed like you had everything. Ollie, then Noah and the crazy, wonderful trip to New York City—my dream place to live in the whole world—plus you’re this amazingly talented photographer and writer. Everyone is always saying how brilliant you are and what a great career you’re going to have . . . All I had was a terrible glue-stick commercial and a dream of being a movie star. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you the way I did.”
If my mouth wasn’t full of candy floss, it would have dropped open. I swallow the sugary goodness, but find I’m still speechless.
“Can you forgive me?” she continues, when I don’t say anything.
“I—I had no idea you felt like that. It always seems like you are the one who has everything. Megan, you’re so pretty and popular, and you’re a great actress—you got a place at that famous drama school! But I was really hurt after what happened . . .”
“I know.” She casts her eyes down to the ground. “It was wrong of me. I don’t know what happened to us, Penny. We used to be such good friends.”
“I guess we just grew apart.”
“Well, if there’s any hope for us to still be friends, I’d like that . . .”
We stare at each other for a moment, and eventually Megan smiles. It’s so full of warmth that I can’t help it: I nod. “I’d like that too,” I say. Then I smirk, and look down at our matching dresses. “Hey, we must look like twins walking around in the same outfit.”
She laughs warmly. “Yeah, well, you can’t buy good taste, right? Come on.” She takes my arm again. “Everyone will be worried about where you are. Let’s get you home.”
Chapter Nine
When we arrive back at my house, all the curtains are closed and the hallway is dark. I’m confused. Did my parents go out for the evening? Then I hear voices from the living room and realize they must be watching a film. I gesture for Megan to follow me in. The living-room door creaks as I push it open.
“Mum?” I say tentatively.
What I don’t expect is for her to leap off the sofa when she hears my voice. “Goodness, Penny!” she says, clutching her chest. “You frightened me! Your father put on one of those awful horror films that he knows I can’t stand.” She throws him an evil glare, but Dad just laughs it off. He knows as well as I do that my mum loves a good scare—it’s all in the name of drama, after all!
Then she genuinely does frown as she looks at me. “But what are you doing home so early? We weren’t expecting you for hours yet.” She looks at Megan, and I can tell she’s trying not to blurt out another question as to why Megan is here with me after everything that happened with Girl Online.
I can’t help it—I break down into shaky tears as I describe my panic attack and the sense of claustrophobia in the crowd, and eventually Megan takes over, filling in the gaps where I don’t remember. When she’s finished, Dad flicks on the lights and potters off to make a cup of tea. Before I know it, I’m feeling much better, and a new feeling starts to dominate my nervous system. It’s no longer anxiety; it’s guilt. Even though I had no phone, no wallet, and no way of leaving him a note or getting a message to him, I still know that Noah will go crazy with worry when he finds out I left without telling him.