“Hi,” I say as calmly and confidently as I can.
“Oh, hi,” Amara says. “How are you?” She looks genuinely concerned.
“OK.” I pull my chair back and sit down.
“Are you sure?” Kira says, leaning across to me.
I nod and bite down on my lip. Their obvious concern is giving me the urge to cry.
I become aware of everyone else looking at us and my face starts to burn.
Kira pulls her chair even closer to me. “Is it true? Did you . . . ?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“It’s not?” Amara whispers. She and Kira exchange glances.
“No. Someone told a load of lies to that website.”
“So you’re not Girl Online?” Amara says.
“Yes, I am. I was. But the rest of it isn’t true. Not the way they’re saying.”
“I can’t believe you’re Girl Online. I love Girl Online,” Kira says, smiling. “I found it when I was doing a Google search for Snooper’s Paradise. That post you did about potholes was hilarious!”
“I love it too,” Amara says, nodding enthusiastically.
“Really?” I feel a prickle of hope. They’re being so nice. They don’t seem to be judging me at all.
The twins move their chairs so they’re right up to my table.
“So, was Brooklyn Boy someone else then?” Kira asks.
I take a deep breath. “No. He was—is—Noah Flynn but”—I fight down a wave of embarrassment—“I didn’t know who he was. He didn’t tell me he was a musician and I’d never heard of him before anyway.”
“I hadn’t either,” Amara says.
Kira shakes her head and sighs. “So he lied to you?”
I nod. I wonder how long it will take before I can acknowledge this fact without feeling sick to my stomach.
Amara places her hand over mine on the table. “That’s so horrible.”
I swallow hard. I mustn’t cry now. Not with everyone looking.
“We couldn’t believe it when we found out,” Kira says. “I told Megan there was no way you would have done something like that. I didn’t even believe that you were Girl Online. But then it went all over the Internet and—”
“All right, you horrible lot, holiday’s over. Let’s have some order, please.” We all turn to see our teacher, Mr. Morgan, standing in the doorway.
The twins take their chairs back to their table and fumble in their bags for their planners. But I sit there motionless, with Kira’s words on repeat in my mind. “I told Megan there was no way you would have done something like that. I didn’t even believe that you were Girl Online. But then it went all over the Internet . . . But then it went all over the Internet . . .”
I barely register a single thing during form period. All I can think is, how did Megan know about my blog before the news broke online? Ollie could have told her I’d met Noah but he didn’t know anything about my blog. For a second, I have the crazy notion that Elliot must have told her, but that is truly insane. But if Megan somehow knew about the blog and Noah before it got out online, could she be the one who leaked it? Form period goes torturously slowly but as soon as the bell finally rings, I’m over at the twins’ table like a shot.
“When did Megan tell you about the blog?”
“On Tuesday night,” Kira says, putting her things back in her bag. “We were at Costa and she showed us it on her phone. She didn’t realize we were already subscribers!”
“I hope you’re going to carry on blogging,” Amara says. “You know, once all the fuss has died down. I love the things you write about.”
I give her a weak smile. “And what did she say about—about Noah?”
“She said that he’d cheated on Leah Brown with you.”
“I had a right go at her when she said that,” Kira says, giving me a shy smile. “I told her there was no way you’d do something like that. Not intentionally, anyway.”
I smile back at her. “Thank you.”
“To be honest, I’m not really sure I like Megan all that much anymore,” Kira says. “I couldn’t believe she posted that video of you on Facebook after the play.”
I feel the sudden urge to hug Kira but I’m way too scared it will make me cry.
“Come on, ladies. Haven’t you got lessons to go to?” Mr. Morgan calls to us from the front of the class.
“See you at lunchtime?” Amara says.
I nod.
“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you,” Kira says.
“Yeah. You’re Girl Online,” Amara adds. “We’re your biggest fans.”
• • •
The glow from my conversation with the twins lasts as long as it takes me to get to the drama department—about two minutes. As I walk down the corridor toward my class, the thought of seeing Megan and Ollie has my stomach tied in knots. I’m late getting there and everyone has gone in, but there’s no sign of either of them.
“Pen!” Call-Me-Jeff exclaims as soon as I walk in. “How are you?”
I can tell immediately that he knows and I feel twenty-something pairs of eyes boring into me. I picture my room in the Waldorf. I remind myself that this is my life, not theirs, and I know the truth.
“I’m fine,” I reply, and as I go to sit down I feel as if I almost mean it.