Gulp! I hope you like it
I open the case and take out the CD. I suddenly get an attack of nerves. I’ve been imagining it as a heartwarming ballad but what if it’s something jokey and silly? What if it’s about how much I love crunchy peanut butter? Get a grip, I tell myself as I put the CD into the stereo and press play. I needn’t have worried. Right from the very first gentle strum of the guitar, I know that it’s going to be beautiful. As I lean back against my bed, I spot a little folded-up note inside the CD case. I open it as Noah starts singing. At the top of the page is the title “Autumn Girl.” Beneath it are the lyrics. I read them as Noah sings.
AUTUMN GIRL
Autumn Girl
You changed my world
You made my winter golden
When I was lost
You made me found
Your loving smile
Turned my life around
Autumn Girl
You changed my world
You made the moon shine amber
And now you’re far
Away from me
I close my eyes
And still I see
Your sunset hair
Your glowing skin
The arms I long
To be held in.
Autumn Girl
You changed my world
You changed my world
You changed my world
By the time the song’s finished playing, my entire body is glowing like my cinnamon candle. Noah wrote that for me. He wrote those beautiful words for me. About me. I grab my phone and send him a text. I go overboard with kisses at the end, because I know he won’t mind.
I love it! Thank you xxxxxxxx
Straightaway he replies.
Seriously?
Yes!!! It’s beautiful Xxxx
So are you
I’m about to reply when he sends another text.
The most beautiful inciting incident in the history of inciting incidents
Ditto xxx
That night, when I go to sleep, I play Noah’s song on repeat and I imagine myself back in the tent, surrounded by the warm glow of fairy lights and with Noah’s arms wrapped tight around me. For the first night in ages I don’t have any nightmares.
2 January
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hello!
I hope you all had a great Christmas.
So, I’m back home. And as it’s the start of a whole new year I thought it would be fun to do a post about new year’s resolutions.
On the plane on the way home I read a magazine article that said you should only choose three new year’s resolutions because that way there’s way more chance of you actually achieving them.
This is so true!
I used to be so into new year’s resolutions I’d write pages of them and then, by February, when I’d only done about one of them (and never the one about eating less chocolate) I’d feel all crap about myself and not bother anymore.
So this year I’m only going to have three and I think it would be really cool if you guys each chose three too and posted them in the comments below and then we can keep up-to-date with each other’s progress—just like on the fear post.
So I’ll start. This year my three resolutions are:
Number One: To be happy
Number Two: To face my fears
Number Three: To believe in myself
OK, I just realized something as I was typing.
If it wasn’t for Brooklyn Boy I wouldn’t be posting those resolutions at all.
The truth is he’s already helped me to start achieving all three of them.
I’m missing him SO much right now but your comments on my previous post have really helped me.
Thank you so much to everyone who said that things will work out between us. If I could add on a sneaky extra resolution it would be to believe in that too.
And thank you to everyone who posted about the fun people who’ve made the weirdest places interesting. I loved hearing about them.
And to all of you who have asked me to post a picture of Brooklyn Boy, I’m really sorry, but some things just need to be kept private. I hope you understand.
Happy New Year, everyone—I can’t wait to read your resolutions!
Girl Online, going offline xxx
Chapter Thirty-Six
As soon as I’ve posted my blog, I sit down at my dressing table and start getting ready to go out with Elliot. It’s almost midday and Mum and Dad have gone to the supermarket to do a mega-shop as there’s hardly any food in the house. Tom is back home and downstairs doing some last-minute work on a uni assignment. Everything around me is going back to how it was before New York—but I’m not.
As Noah’s song plays in the background, I look at my reflection in the dressing-table mirror. On the surface I’m the same person—the same sprinkling of freckles on my nose and the same auburn hair—but how I see myself is totally different. It’s a bit like when you watch a movie with a killer twist at the end and you discover that the goodie is actually the baddie. But in this case the twist is that I’ve discovered that I’m not embarrassing and ugly after all. I’ve discovered that the things I thought were ugly actually make me look like autumn—and sunsets. I don’t need to conceal my freckles with a layer of foundation anymore. I don’t need to tie my hair back to hide its redness. I can leave it down and show it off.
Seeing myself through Noah’s eyes has helped me to see the truth. I look at the photo of Noah pinned to the top of my mirror. I printed it out as soon as I woke up this morning so that I’m still able to see him whenever I want. “Thank you,” I whisper to his smiling face.
I’m just about to brush my hair when the text alert goes off on my phone. My first thought is Noah but as I click into my messages my heart doesn’t just sink—it plummets. It’s from Megan.