“I hope you’re not looking up my dress,” I say jokily.
Ollie chuckles. “As if!”
For a brief moment I feel as if I’ve actually managed to achieve the impossible and have a humiliation-free flirtation. But then, just as I’m taking my bird’s-eye shot of Ollie, the pebbles begin to give way and both my feet start sliding in opposite directions. I desperately try to keep my footing but this only makes it worse and suddenly I am sitting right on top of Ollie’s stomach.
“I’m so sorry,” I gasp, trying to scramble back up.
He catches hold of my wrist, laughing. “Don’t be. It’s hilarious. You’re hilarious.”
I look at him suspiciously. But he’s not saying it the way Megan says, “You’re so quirky.” It actually sounds affectionate. “Thank you,” I say.
“Oh my God! What are you doing?”
We both jump at the sound of Megan’s voice. I turn to see her standing a few feet away, glaring at us. The twins are right behind her, grinning from ear to ear.
“I-I was just taking Ollie’s picture,” I stammer, my face going redder than a postbox, “and my feet slipped.”
“Right.” Megan keeps on glaring at me. I notice that she’s changed out of the jeans and hoodie she was wearing when she left my house and is now wearing a skintight plum-colored dress with knee-high boots.
Somehow, I manage to clamber off Ollie without causing either of us an injury.
“What are you guys doing down here anyway?” Megan says, and she looks at Ollie pointedly. “I thought you were supposed to be going for lunch together.”
“How did . . . ?” Ollie instantly looks embarrassed. “It was nothing major; I just wanted Penny to take some photos of me for my online profiles.”
Megan turns to look at me and her smile actually looks triumphant. See, I told you it wasn’t a date, it seems to be saying.
“Your photos are so good,” Kira says, coming over to me.
“Yes,” says Amara. “I loved that one you took of the old pier for your art project.”
I smile at them weakly.
“So, where were you guys thinking of going for lunch?” Megan says.
Ollie shrugs. “Hadn’t really thought about it, to be honest.”
I stare at him, confused.
“We were just going to Nando’s,” Megan says sweetly. “Do you fancy joining us?”
“Sure,” Ollie replies in a beat.
I instantly feel sick with anger and I kick out at the stones. One of them goes sailing into the air. I gasp in horror as I watch it sail straight into a passing West Highland terrier. It yelps in pain, and its owner—an old man with extremely bushy eyebrows—glares at me.
“I’m so sorry! It was an accident,” I call over. I’m just a walking accident, I feel like adding. I can’t even get angry without something excruciatingly embarrassing happening.
“Penny!” Megan says, scolding me like she’s my mum. “That poor little dog!”
“Actually, I think I’m going to head off home,” I say, fighting the urge to kick a stone at her.
“Oh really?” Megan can barely disguise her glee.
“But what about my pictures?” Ollie says, sounding really disappointed.
I can’t even bring myself to look at him. “I’ll email them to you later,” I mutter.
“OK then, see you in school tomorrow,” Megan says breezily.
As the twins call out goodbye, I bite down hard on my lip and start marching away from them across the beach. My head feels all tangled up in anger and confusion. But one thing I know for sure, without any shadow of a doubt, is that I’ve absolutely had it with Megan.
Chapter Eight
“Can you please, please, please promise me that you will listen to everything I have to say quietly and calmly, without making any catty remarks until I’ve finished?” I beg Elliot, now that I’m back home and have summoned him with the dire-emergency code of ten knocks on the wall.
Elliot leans back in the rocking chair and strokes his chin thoughtfully. “Does what you’re about to tell me involve Mega-dull and the Walking Selfie?” he asks.
“Yes, but please can you not say anything rude about them until I’ve finished. And the phrase ‘I told you so’ is also banned.”
Elliot looks aghast. “What, banned forever—or just while you’re telling the story?”
“Forever.”
Elliot sighs. “OK then, but you might need to gag me.”
“Seriously!”
“OK, OK, my lips are sealed.”
I sit cross-legged on my bed, staring down at the duvet, and recount my tale of woe, from the World’s Worst Sleepover to Ollie’s immortal words “It was nothing major.”
“It was nothing major?” Elliot echoes as soon as I’ve finished. “I told—”
“No, don’t say it!” I cry, covering my ears. “Honestly, I can’t bear to hear it. I can’t believe I actually thought it was a date!”
“And as for Mega-strumpet!” Elliot exclaims.
I frown at him. “Strumpet?”
Elliot nods. “It’s a word Shakespeare invented to describe women of ill repute.”
“Ah, I see.”
“She really is vile,” Elliot says, shaking his head in disgust. “I can’t believe she crashed your lunch with Ollie. I told you—”