“Are you?”
My phone starts ringing. I glance at it. Kennedy.
“I’m gonna prove it right now,” I say, shaking the phone at him, “by choosing my family over a drink with your dumb ass.”
We go our separate ways as I answer the call. “Hello?”
“Hey, you,” Kennedy says, her voice quiet. “How was your day?”
“Long,” I say. “Yours?”
“It was okay,” she says. “Sorry I didn’t answer when you called earlier. I wanted to, but Maddie insisted I didn’t.”
My stomach drops. “Is she still mad?”
“No.” She sighs. “She heard Meghan say you should always play hard to get, because it’ll make a guy want you more if he has to wait. So she said not to answer yet and then you’ll love us even more.”
“Well, who can argue with that?”
“Right? Which means I can’t talk long. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I appreciate it,” I say. “I’m actually heading back to the hotel to get some sleep. Just got out of a meeting.”
“A meeting-meeting or like… a meeting?”
“Whichever of those is for alcoholics.”
“Ah, well, that’s good.” She pauses. “I’m gonna go before she catches me. Have a good night.”
“Goodnight, baby.”
I look up when I reach the hotel, pocketing the phone, my footsteps slowing when I see a handful of people lurking. They spot me, so I stop, signing some autographs and chatting, taking a few pictures before going inside.
Instinctively, I look around, always on alert. And for the second time in a week, I see a familiar face in the lobby bar.
This time, though, it’s Cliff.
He’s sitting alone at a small table with what looks like a glass of scotch. Never have I known Cliff to drink alcohol. I take a few steps that direction, curious, when a guy slips into the chair across from him and picks up the glass.
Something strikes me as familiar about him, but I’ve seen a lot of faces in my life, so it’s not always easy to place them. I watch for a moment, the two men casually chatting, before the guy downs the rest of the scotch and stands up to leave.
He makes it halfway through the lobby before his eyes flicker my way. He looks surprised to see me, which is funny, because in that moment I remember where I saw him.
He followed me that morning when I walked Madison to school. He works for Hollywood Chronicles.
The guy turns away and keeps on going, which makes this whole thing even funnier, because I’ve never known any of them to pass up the chance to provoke me.
“Hey, Daddy!”
Madison’s grinning face takes up my whole phone screen. Guess the self-imposed ‘make him wait’ strategy has been abandoned, considering she’s FaceTiming me at seven-thirty in the morning.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I say. “You getting ready for school?”
She nods, shaking the phone as she does. “I already got my clothes all on, and Mommy said we had some minutes, ‘cuz I got my backpack ready early.”
“So you decided to call?”
“Uh-huh, to remind you so you didn’t forget.”
“Forget what?”
“Me, duh.”
“You don’t have to worry about that, but I’m glad you called. I miss you.”
“Miss you,” she says. “Guess what! Yesterday it was Aunt Meghan’s birthday and Mommy got her cupcakes, but Aunt Meghan didn’t eat none, ‘cuz she says cake don’t like her thighs, but I dunno why. So we can have them all, and I saved one for you, but Mommy says it won’t be good in thirty days so I ate it.”
“You ate it.”
She nods. “For breakfast.”
I laugh, because I have no idea what to even say to that. Her eyes narrow, like she doesn’t know what I find so funny.
In the background, I hear Kennedy yelling, something about it being Tuesday.
“Uh-oh,” Madison says, her face flashing with panic seconds before she drops the phone to the floor and runs off.
I stare at a view of the ceiling. “Madison? Madison! Pick the phone back up!”
There’s a knock on my trailer door behind me. It opens without invitation. Cliff steps inside, looking at me incredulously. I’m sitting here with my feet propped up, relaxing.
“Wardrobe’s waiting,” he says. “You should be in costume.”
“Tell them I’ll be there in a minute.”
“You know, maybe if you hired a personal assistant…”
He finishes that sentence, saying something, but I don’t pay attention, because Madison returns. “Sorry, Daddy. I forgot it was Tuesday and I had to get some Show & Tell.”
“It’s okay,” I tell her. “What did you pick?”
“Guess!”
“Breezeo?”
“Nope!” She whips out her Maryanne doll to show me. “Ta-da!”
“Wow, something new, huh?”
“Yep,” she says.
“What made you switch?”
“I didn’t want Mommy to be sad, ‘cuz you’re gone, so she got to have my Breezeo for now. He’s in her bed, taking a nap!”
“Wow,” I say, trying not to laugh at the fact that she’s sleeping with a tiny doll version of me in my absence. “That was nice of you.”
Kennedy yells again in the background, asking Madison if she’s seen her phone.
“Uh-oh. Gotta go!”
She hangs up.
I shake my head, realizing Kennedy probably doesn’t even know she called me.
Getting up to go to wardrobe, I see Cliff still lurking.
He glances at his watch. “You’re due on set in fifteen minutes.”
Shit. I'm going to be late.
They’re making a Breezeo movie.
You whisper this as you crawl into bed with the woman you love for the first time in weeks. It’s the middle of the night. You just got home from New York. You've been back and forth all summer, deep into the fall. You were due back days ago, the first of October, but you kept delaying your return.
Your arms slide around her from behind as you pull her to you, her back against your chest. You smell like your cologne. Too often, you come home smelling like booze or perfume. She makes you shower every time it happens before you can even touch her.
“Are you serious?” she asks. “A Breezeo movie?”
You hum in response as you tug at her clothes, moving just enough fabric aside to make her feel good. She’s only wearing her underwear and one of your t-shirts. She moans as you slide into her from behind. Your lips are on her neck. It takes no time at all before she’s crying out in pleasure.
You move then, laying flat on your back as you pull her on top. Sighing, you grasp her hips and slide right back inside, closing your eyes. “You feel so good, baby. I just want to lay here and feel you. I’m so fucking exhausted right now.”
“And you think I’m not?”
You open your eyes again when she says that. There’s a bite to those words. She’s not moving, staring down at you. It’s dark in the bedroom, but not so dark that she can’t see your clear blue eyes. You came home sober.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Didn’t think about it, either, huh?”
There’s that bite again.
“Come on, can we not fight right now?” you ask, and you even sound exhausted. There’s not a shred of anger in your voice. “I just got home ten minutes ago. I haven’t seen you in over a month. I… fuck, I just want to be inside of you right now. We can fight tomorrow if you want.”
She makes a face at you but slowly starts moving. You close your eyes again, relaxing. It doesn’t go on long before you pull her down to you, holding her as you thrust. You whisper in her ear, whispering how much you’ve missed her, how you haven’t been able to sleep without her beside you.
After you finish, she just lays there, still on top. Your hands roam beneath the t-shirt, stroking her back. It’s quiet. Used to be, the silence between you felt comfortable, but now it’s like an invisible barrier that’s difficult to get around.