After I pay for it, she picks the tabloid back up and continues reading. I make my way outside once she’s distracted, carrying the bag to where Jonathan lingers.
“Here,” I say, shoving it at him. “Your milk and your kale so you can go feed ducks or whatever you’re doing with it.”
He lets out a light laugh. “It’s for me. Doctor’s orders.”
“That’s horrible.”
“Ah, could be worse.”
“If you say so,” I mumble, glancing at my watch. “I should get back to work.”
I go to head back to the store when he calls out to me. “K?”
I glance at him, words on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t get a single syllable out. The look on his face stuns me into silence, the vulnerability, like he’s splitting himself open right now.
“Thank you,” he says quietly.
I nod, hesitating before saying, “If you change your mind about eating the kale, I’m sure Maddie would be happy to help you get rid of it.”
He smiles. It’s a genuine smile, unconscious, like happiness is radiating from inside of him at that suggestion. I don’t say anything else, nor do I wait for his response. Being around him is proving dangerous for my feelings. Dangerous to my sanity.
I head back into the store, strolling past Bethany at her register. She sets the tabloid down to look at me. “Didn’t you just leave?”
“I stepped outside,” I say. “I still have another hour until my shift is over.”
“What did you do with your stuff?”
“Put it in my car.”
“Even the milk?”
“Uh… yeah.”
“But won’t it go bad in this heat?”
“Probably.”
She stares at me, mumbling, “I swear, you’re so weird sometimes.”
“I should cancel.”
“You should do no such thing.” Meghan’s voice is pointed, matter-of-fact, don’t you freaking argue with me when she says that. “What you should do is take the guy for a ride, if you know what I’m saying.”
“Meghan…”
“I’m serious,” she says. “Just a quick spin around the block to see how he runs, make that engine purr for a little while.”
“Since when are you pro-Drew?”
“I’m not.” She makes a face of disgust. “I’m pro-orgasm, and I know it’s been a long while since you’ve had one.”
I laugh… until a little voice chimes in, asking, “What’s that?”
Maddie sits at the kitchen table across from Meghan, swinging her legs as she draws her heart out on a piece of paper.
“What’s what?” I ask, leaning back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over my chest.
“What Aunt Meghan said,” Maddie says. “What’s the orga, uh…?”
“Organism,” I blurt out, realizing she’s about to ask us what an orgasm is.
“Organism,” she says. “What’s that?”
“It’s from science,” Meghan says. “It’s what they call a living thing, you know, anything that’s alive.”
“You don’t got one of those?” Maddie asks, looking up from her drawing, eyebrows raised. “Not for a long time?”
“Well, I have you,” I say, pausing beside her chair as I ruffle her hair. “You’re as alive as it gets. Don’t need anything else... not even those crazy organisms Meghan’s all about.”
Maddie seems pretty pleased with that answer as she goes back to drawing, while Meghan shoots me a look, half-apologetic, half-pathetic. I roll my eyes, flipping her off out of Maddie’s line of sight. “I guess I ought to get dressed.”
“Something sexy!” Meghan shouts at me.
I go with something simple instead—skinny jeans, black flats, black shirt. I brush my hair, leaving the dark locks hanging loose, and put on a dash of makeup. Done. Meghan scrunches up her nose at me, but she keeps her opinion to herself.
“Mommy, can you do my stars?” Maddie asks, shoving her paper and pencil at me.
“Sure thing,” I say. I’m not sure what it is she’s making, but I can tell the skyline easily. I’ve showed her the easy way to draw stars a few times—mountain, diagonal, across, connect—but she always asks me to do them for her, since it's pretty much the only thing I can draw.
A knock echoes from the front door of the apartment. Meghan sighs as she shoves her chair back to stand, whispering as she passes me, “Sounds like your organism is here.”
“I’ll be right there,” I mumble, finishing up the stars before handing the pencil back to Maddie. “I have to go, sweetheart.”
“Where?”
“Out with my friend.”
“Can I come this time?”
“Not tonight,” I tell her, frowning when I see the disappointment in her eyes. “Someday, though.”
“Is it your friend that didn’t see you were pretty last time?”
“Uh, yeah, same one.”
She makes a face.
I almost laugh.
But then I hear another knock on the door, Meghan’s voice ringing out over the sound of it as she says, “Jesus, hold your damn ho—oh my fucking god. No.”
I tense at the sudden change in her tone, from flippant to shocked within half a word.
“No… no… no,” she chants before saying, “Get the fuck out of here.”
I look out of the kitchen, toward the front door, heart wildly racing. Jonathan stands on the small stoop in front of my apartment, a mere few feet in front of his sister.
“Meghan,” he says, nodding to her in greeting.
The moment he says her name, the shock wears away, replaced by anger as her eyes narrow.
“No,” she says, matter-of-fact, slamming the door right in his face.
Maddie jumps at the sound of the bang.
“Meghan,” I groan. “Please.”
I don’t need a scene, not one I’ll have to try to explain. Meghan yanks the door back open. Jonathan still stands there, having not moved at all.
Maddie gasps, noticing him, and jumps down from her chair at the table, snatching up her drawing as she runs for the door. “Jonathan!”
“Hey,” he says, avoiding looking at his sister, instead smiling at Maddie.
“You’re back!” She shoves her paper at him. “I was making you a picture!”
“Wow,” he says, looking at it. “It’s amazing.”
“It’s not done,” she says, snatching it back from him, “but all I gotta do is the people now, because Mommy drawed the stars!”
“Well, they’re some great stars,” he says, meeting my gaze. “I’m sure it’ll be perfect.”
“You can have it when it’s done,” she tells him. “Are you gonna stay? You can play with me and Aunt Meghan!”
Meghan makes a noise.
“Not tonight,” he says. “I just came by to talk to your mom for a minute.”
Maddie frowns, mumbling, “okay,” before she shuffles away.
Jonathan closes his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. I can tell he wants to change his mind.
“Maybe tomorrow,” I chime in, stepping in Maddie’s path so she’ll stop walking. Grasping her chin, I tilt her head up, making her look at me. “It’s kind of late to be playing tonight, anyway.”
“Tomorrow,” Jonathan agrees. “I’ll be here.”
Her eyes light up, disappointment fading.
“See you tomorrow!” she yells back at him before wrapping her arms around me. “Love you, Mommy.”
“Love you, too,” I say, “more than banana Popsicles and Hawaiian pizza.”
“More than the dates with your friend?”
“Oh, pfft, of course.” I playfully squeeze her cheeks. “More than dates with anybody.”
Leaning down, I give her a quick kiss before she runs off to her bedroom. The second she’s out of the room, the second she’s out of earshot, Meghan’s voice cuts in, a low growl as she says, “You better bring your ass back here tomorrow, little brother, because if you lied to her right in front of me, I swear to God…”