He shrugged. “Most of the teachers are just doing review anyway.” Then he smiled at me and put one hand on the tarp. “Close your eyes.”
I rolled my eyes instead. “I know what it looks like, Sahil. Just take the tarp off.”
“Nope.” He thrust out his chin in this stubborn gesture that I loved. Er, I mean liked. A normal amount.
Sighing theatrically, I closed my eyes and put a hand over them for good measure. I heard the tarp rustling. And then Sahil, his voice bubbling with glee, said, “Okay. Open.”
I took my hand off and opened my eyes. And there in front of me was the backdrop. Not the cyclorama Sahil had fallen in love with, but the one I had chosen. The one with the village lights on the hill. I stared at it in complete shock. My voice went AWOL.
“Are—is this okay?” Sahil asked, frowning. “I mean, it’s all paid for and everything. You don’t have to do any—”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not that. It’s …” I swallowed. “How did you—why did you do this?”
He stuck his hands in his pockets and quirked his lips. “The how was easy. It wasn’t anything Agent Sahil couldn’t handle.” He put on his snotty agent accent. “‘This cyclorama simply doesn’t work for Miss Mehra’s vision, darling. We need something else. Something with more je ne sais quoi.’”
I snorted.
“As for the why … I was being a jerk before about it. You were right—I wasn’t listening, and I realized I was being an idiot. The cyclorama wasn’t about the cyclorama. It … Anyway …” Shaking his head, he took a step closer to me. “I heard what you said to me this morning, T. About needing to speak up? I heard you one hundred percent. And I want to give my director what she wants. I trust your vision all the way, and this is me showing you that I do.”
I still had a million questions.
#1: Why did you do such a nice thing for me, Sahil?
#2: Don’t you know how hard it is for me to not hop into your arms and kiss you right now?
Okay, so maybe only two questions.
Sahil had heard me. That was a way bigger gift than this backdrop even was. I just stared at him, rooted to the spot.
His face was anxious as the silence stretched on. “So, do you like it? I wanted it to be a surprise, which is why I didn’t consult you. …”
That broke my paralysis. I stepped even closer to him. Putting my arms around his waist, I laid my head on his chest. I heard his heart beating in there, solid and steady and strong. “This is perfect,” I said, and I wasn’t just talking about the backdrop. “Thank you.”
After a pause, Sahil’s arms wrapped around me, too. My heart thundered at his touch, but I kept my breathing calm. This was a friendly hug. At least, that’s what I wanted him to think. I stepped back. “So. You were saying how the cyclorama wasn’t actually about the cyclorama? I thought that whole conversation we had earlier didn’t seem like you. So what’s going on? What’s the cyclorama about?”
He looked at me, steady. “It’s about … being noticed. Not being the kind of person who’s going to fade into the background, overlooked for someone else.” His phone dinged in his pocket and he pulled it out. I saw NEIL on the screen, and a text message below that. Sahil put the phone back.
I smiled. “Talk about someone who doesn’t ever fade into the background.”
“What?”
“Neil. I saw the text was from him.” I laughed a little. “Ironic. We’re talking about being overlooked, and Neil texts you. I don’t think he’d know the meaning of the word ‘ignored,’ unlike some other people.” I was talking about myself, but Sahil didn’t return my smile.
“Right.”
“Anyway,” I said, studying his expression. He’d said at the cabin he didn’t like to talk about Neil, but I didn’t know something this small counted too. “You were saying?”
He waved me off. “Nah, nothing.” Raising his chin toward the backdrop, he said, “So, you want to check that out?”
Again, I got the feeling there was so much happening I couldn’t see. Sahil was an iceberg. Ninety-seven percent of him was under the surface.
He clearly didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t want to be the Titanic, so I nodded and walked up to the backdrop. Running a finger along the (non-fanged) moon and (non-fingered) trees, I whistled. “Love it. Love. It. This is exactly what we need for our first scene today.” Sahil came to stand beside me, and I smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, T,” he murmured. “Anytime.” And then he was back to being my Sahil, the soft, sweet friend I could share anything with.
Don’t judge me, Nora. I know I’ve had that secret fantasy about Neil and me being this power couple for as long as I can remember. But what about the connection I’m making with his twin brother now? Aaaahhhh. Why is high school so complicated?
Love,
Twinkle
Thursday, June 11
My room
Dear Mira Nair,
My first day of filming is over. It. Was. Amazing.
I mean, sure, things were still pretty prickly between my lead actress and me. (She and Brij were talking up a storm, but of course I couldn’t comment on that because we’re not talking to each other.) Victoria wasn’t on the same page as Maddie because she came up to me and said, “Twinkle, do you think my right side is my good side?” (She has one of the most symmetrical faces I’ve ever seen, Mira, so I’m not sure what she’s talking about. All her sides are “good.”) And then she said, “I love this white dress you got me” and “This scene is so incisive!” She even gave me her cell number in case I wanted to text her scene ideas for her character. (I didn’t have the heart to tell her I don’t have a cell phone; that probably wouldn’t compute for someone like Victoria.) I think she was trying to be my friend. Victoria Lyons. It’s like becoming a director is making me someone even silk feathered hats like Victoria respect.
And what’s weird is … I felt myself changing too. As the minutes wore on and I was directing people (as one does when one is the director), I felt like I was getting taller. My shoulders straightened out. I stopped caring about whether I’d say anything dumb because all of them were hanging on my every word. I felt like a director for the first time ever today. I wasn’t a silk feathered hat person, but just for that period of time, I wasn’t a groundling either. I’m never, ever going to forget this feeling.
Oh, and I found out why Sahil had e-mailed to ask me what font I liked. He, Skid, and Aaron had pitched in and gotten me a director’s chair with my name on it. They made me cover my eyes and sit on it and they kept asking me questions like “Do you feel different?” before they’d let me uncover my eyes. When it sank in what they’d done, I almost cried. I just looked at them, all of their faces smiling and sweet and friendly. They’d planned this for me, and they barely knew me.
It’s getting a treasured place in my room when we’re done with the film, a reminder that there are people who believe in me and the message I want to send the world. And then if I ever win an Academy Award, I’m thanking them onstage.
So, after we finished filming the first scene and Sahil dropped me off at home, I had a surprise waiting—an e-mail from N! Pasting it below.
This has easily been one of the BEST days of my life.
Love,
Twinkle
From: [email protected]
Subject: You’re not bugging me
Twinkle,
Okay, I’m convinced. Let’s meet up. How about the carnival downtown Saturday night, 8 pm? I’ll meet you by the carousel.
—N
Eleven
Saturday, June 13
Dressing room at Target
Dear Haifaa al-Mansour,
I convinced Dadi to loan me some money to buy a dress. She thinks I’m going to the carnival to hang out with Maddie. I don’t like lying to her, but if I told her I was meeting some boy who’s been e-mailing me on the Internet, she would probably keel over of a heart attack. So I’ll tell her once it’s all worked out, promise.