“It’s keeping all my lumps and bumps in place, thank you very much.” She lowered herself carefully onto the toilet and looked up at me. “OK, speak. What’s up with you and 21 Jump Street? He can’t take his eyes off you.”
My face heated. “I don’t know.”
“Are you still just friends?”
“No,” Mia said emphatically. “They are dating.”
“We’re more than friends, I think,” I admitted. “But I don’t know what, exactly.”
Coco stood up and leaned back to flush. “And you like him? Trust him?”
“Yes. I mean, I think so, but I have to be careful, you know? I don’t have the best luck with guys.”
Mia and Coco exchanged a look as we lowered the sides of her dress.
“What?” I said defensively.
“Nothing,” Mia said quickly. “It’s just that I don’t think you can compare this to your past relationships.”
“What do you mean?”
“She means that you don’t have bad luck. Everyone knew Tony was gay. And you probably knew it too.” Coco soaped her hands briskly at the sink.
My mouth fell open. “What? I did not know it.”
“Well, you should have.” Coco met my eyes in the mirror. “I’m sorry, and you know I love you, but it was totally obvious to everyone fairly quickly that he wasn’t going to be the one, because he liked boys better than girls.”
“She means, in her own sweet way,” Mia went on, giving Coco a savage look in the mirror, “that we think you sometimes choose the wrong guys to date on purpose. So that there isn’t any real danger of having to trust them. Then you can say it was bad luck in the end.”
“What?” My chest felt hot and sweaty all of a sudden. “I do not do that.” But I crossed my arms, as if I was exposed.
“You do, honey.” Coco dried her hands on a hand towel. “And we totally understand why.” She turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder. “But we love you. And we want you to be happy.”
“It seems like you and Charlie have great chemistry,” Mia said. “More than anyone we’ve ever seen you with. And we just don’t want to see you throw that away out of fear.”
“I’m not scared, you guys.” It was a huge lie. I was totally scared. “I’m just confused. He doesn’t talk to me.”
“Men.” Mia shook her head. “Lucas baffled me too, for the longest time. And we don’t always understand each other, but we love each other, and we try.” She put a hand over her stomach. “You know, I never thought I’d be here right now, married to and expecting a baby with a man I met on what was supposed to be my honeymoon.” She shook her head. “My honeymoon!”
I smiled. “Thank God we convinced you to go on that trip.”
“I know!” She rocked onto her tiptoes. “Because I so didn’t want to go. I thought you guys were crazy to insist on it. Remember?
“Yes. You were a total pain in the ass.” Coco winked at me, then turned to her reflection to check her makeup. “And if you would have told me six months ago that I’d be married to Nick Lupo, I’d have said you were fucking bananas. And now look.” She faced us again. “So sometimes, Erin, you gotta take a leap.”
Misty-eyed, Mia grabbed my hand. “I couldn’t agree more.”
I shrugged, fighting a tiny wave of sadness. “I don’t know that there’s a leap to take here, though. He doesn’t want me like that.”
“He does,” Coco insisted, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Trust me. I can see it.”
“Me too.” Mia squeezed my hand again. “Even if he can’t yet. Be patient, Erin. Nobody’s perfect.”
#
After dinner, after cake, after several glasses of champagne, we were back in the living room, this time side by side on a cozy love seat. The lights were even lower, the mood even more romantic. I was tucked beneath Charlie’s arm, my head tipping onto his chest. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Mia and Coco had said, that I chose the wrong guys on purpose so I wouldn’t have to worry about forever. About trusting someone. About giving myself completely. I supposed there was some truth to that. I’d known neither of the guys I’d dated seriously would turn out to be the one, but they were cute and fun and kind, and those seemed like good enough reasons to be with someone, at least at the time. And contrary to what Coco said, I did not know Tony was gay.
Confession: I had a suspicion.
But Charlie. Charlie was another thing entirely. And this thing with him was intense and wonderful and confusing as hell. If he still wanted no-strings sex, what was he doing here, holding me tight to his side, rubbing his fingertips up and down my arm that way?
I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t. Instead I sighed, and Charlie took it as a sign I was tired.
“Hey.” His voice was gravelly, and he cleared his throat. “You tired?”
“Yeah. I guess I am.”
“Been a long day for you.”
I sat up and smiled. “But a good one. I’m so happy for them. Let me get my stuff. My car is over at Coco’s parents’ house. Can you drop me there?”
“It’s late. You can get your car tomorrow.”
“But how am I going to get over there tomorrow? I’ll be stuck at home with no car.”
“I’ll take you. Don’t worry about it.”