Hearing a thump, I wonder what it is; then I hear his quietly growled words through the wood. “This isn’t over, baby, not by a long shot. I’ll see you tonight.”
He will not be seeing me tonight or ever for that matter. Tonight I’m going to my sisters’, where I plan on staying until I can find a new place to live . . . preferably in another country. I’ve always wanted to teach abroad, so this is the perfect excuse to finally move to Paris and put those eight years of French I took to good use. While I’m there I will spend my days working and my nights trying to forget about Levi and the fact that he gave me the most devastatingly beautiful kiss of my life. With that plan in my mind, I head for my room to get ready for work.
Sitting on the corner of my desk when the bell rings, I study Tamara as she slips on her jacket and puts away her things. Today, like every day this week, she’s been quiet and withdrawn, whereas normally she’s outspoken and fully involved in class. I’m worried about her. Smiling at each kid as they leave the room, I look back at Tamara, who’s for once ready to go when everyone else is. “Tamara, can I speak to you for a minute?” I ask as she starts to pass in front of my desk; her eyes move to the clock on the wall before coming back to me.
“I have to be out front. My mom’s boyfriend is picking me up.” She swallows, looking nervous.
“It will just take a second,” I reassure her. There is no way that I will allow her to get into trouble by keeping her too long, but I need to make sure she’s okay before I can in good conscience let her leave for the day.
“Okay,” she agrees before turning to smile at Addie, one of her friends in class, as she passes.
“’Bye, Miss Reed.” Addie smiles.
“’Bye, Addie. Have a good day.” I know the girls in class talk to one another, so I have no doubt Tamara probably opened up to her friends about whatever’s going on. I just hope she will trust me enough to do the same with me.
Keeping my place perched on the edge of my desk, I look at Tamara as soon as the room is empty. “I noticed that you seem a little off this week. Is everything okay?”
Her immediate yes sets off warning bells, but I don’t let it show. I know better than to make it seem like I don’t believe her.
“If you ever want to talk to me about anything at all, I’m here, or if you would rather talk to Mrs. Jenkins, her door is always open,” I say, referring to the school counselor, whom all the kids love.
“I know.” She shrugs her shoulders, licking her bottom lip. “I’m fine.”
“Okay, honey,” I say softly, giving her a small smile. “Go on. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“’Bye, Miss Reed.”
“’Bye, Tamara.” I watch her go, wishing that I didn’t have to. My gut tells me that something is happening, but I also know that without her talking to me, there is nothing I can do to help her. With a helpless sigh, I stand up and gather my bags and coat, then head for the front office.
“Hey, Sammy,” I greet the principal’s receptionist as soon as I walk through the door; her head flies up, causing her unruly hair to fall in front of her face.
“Hi, Fawn.” She smiles, blowing her hair out of her eyes and looking completely rattled—then again, she always looks rattled.
“Is Mrs. Thompson available?”
“Yep, go on in.” She nods toward the door behind her with a smile, and I head across the office and open the door, finding Mrs. Thompson sitting behind her computer, looking as polished as ever in a dusty-blue suit with her dark hair pinned back away from her very pretty face.
“Hi, Miss Reed, how can I help you?” She smiles at me as I move into the room and take a seat across from her.
“I’m a little worried,” I admit, setting my bags on the ground next to my chair.
“Worried?” she asks, sitting back and resting her hands in her lap as she studies me.
“Yes, Tamara Albergastey hasn’t seemed like herself in class the last few days.”
“What do you mean?” she asks quietly.
“It may be nothing, but she hasn’t been participating in class like she normally does, and she’s seemed really withdrawn.” I rub my hands together, wishing I had something more to go on. “I asked her after class if she wanted to talk and if she was okay, but she said she was fine.”
“Oh dear.” She sits forward, resting her hands on her desk. “Have there been any changes at home that you are aware of?”
“Her mom has a new boyfriend and I don’t think they get along, but I don’t know that for sure.”
“Hmm.” She smiles a soft, sad smile knowing Tamara’s mother’s history better than I do, since she’s been one of her students for the last few years.
“I understand how difficult this situation is, but unfortunately there is nothing we can do about the men Tamara’s mother chooses to spend her time with.”
“I know,” I agree quietly.
“I will see if I can find out what’s going on, but in the meantime, keep your chin up. Your students adore you, and Tamara is likely to speak to you about what’s happening before anyone else.”
“Thank you.”
Studying me for a long moment, the principal’s eyes search mine, and her face softens. “You’re a great teacher, Fawn, and I know these kids mean a lot to you. It shows in your work and their grades. We’re lucky to have you here in this school, but those kids are also very lucky to have someone who cares about them and their futures. Please know that Tamara’s situation is one that you do not have a lot of control over, regardless of how badly you wish differently.”
“I know, I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
“I know you do,” she says gently, moving her eyes past my shoulder briefly. “I wish more teachers cared as much as you do. I know what it’s like to see the potential in a child and want more for them. When I first started teaching, I had a student named Michel who was my favorite kid. He was good at everything but especially good in science, which was also my favorite subject to teach. I wanted him to get into a few different after-school science programs, but his family couldn’t afford for him to stay after school. He was the oldest and the one responsible for making sure his younger siblings made it home and had dinner. I hated that he had to make that sacrifice, but eventually I found a weekend science program for him to be a part of, so in the end everyone was happy.”
“That’s amazing.”
“No, what’s amazing is that he shared his love of science with his siblings and now they are all in college—and all of them are doing something in the field of science.” Sheesh. I pull in a breath and hold it to fight back the tears. “Keep doing what you’re doing, not only with Tamara but with all of your students.”
“I will.” I nod, picking up my bags and coat from the floor. “Thank you again.”
“You’re welcome, and you know my door is always open.”
“I do,” I agree. When I was interviewing for teaching positions, Mrs. Thompson was the reason I wanted to work at PS 189. From the very moment I met her, I could tell she cared deeply about the students—she wasn’t jaded like some of the other principals I interviewed with. She didn’t just see her job as a job, she saw it as a way to make a difference in the world, which is the exact reason I wanted to be a teacher.
Shutting her office door, I say a quiet goodbye to Sammy as I pass her desk, seeing her nose buried in a folder she’s looking through.
“You, too, Fawn,” she mumbles back absently. Slipping on my coat, I button it up, then put on my hat and gloves before leaving the office, placing one earbud in so I can listen to my newest audiobook. Walking out of the school, I head up the block for the subway, where I fight for a place to stand on the train during the rush-hour commute. I don’t want to go home, but I still need to pick up Muffin so I can take her with me to my sisters’. My sisters think my apartment is being fumigated, which is why I need to stay with them. Yes, I lied to them, but there is no way in hell I could tell them the truth—that I’m hiding from Levi because like the idiot I am, I kissed him and made a fool out of myself.