“I need to know,” I mumble at the underside of her breast. “What we’re doing, Bristol.”
“What do you mean?” she gasps. “This feels fantastic.”
I slide her down my body and frame her face in my hands.
“Is this like some spring break fling for you?” I ask earnestly.
“Grip, I . . .” She drops her forehead to my chest, and I would give anything to turn up the wattage on the moon so I could see her face better. So I could see her eyes. “I don’t know.”
It shouldn’t hurt. We shared a few days, a few conversations, and the best kisses of my life. That’s it. That’s all, but last night feels like the best night I’ve ever had. And to think it wasn’t monumental for her or that she’s “deciding” what we’ll be when I feel like the decision was made for me almost as soon as I laid eyes on her, hurts.
“I’m not a casual kind of person.” She sighs, and I can imagine the jaded look on her face. “And there’s a lot that could go wrong. You’re my brother’s best friend. I’m moving here and it could be awkward if things . . . go south.”
“They won’t,” I assure her. “Just give it a chance.”
“What?” She lets out a cynical laugh. “A long-distance relationship?”
“Why not?”
“You’re a player for one thing, Mr. Bees with honey and chocolate. You get bored, you move on, and you probably cheat.”
There’s a question in her voice, and I know this is the moment when I should tell her about Tessa. But I’m having such a hard time even getting her to consider making us an us, and I don’t want to make it any harder by throwing that wrench in the works. I’ll deal with Tessa as soon as Bristol is gone.
“It’d be different with you.” I run a palm over her wet hair. “I know it would be.”
“But I don’t know it would be, and . . .” I see the shape of her head as she lifts it, shaking it. “Can we take it slow? I don’t want to get hurt, and I think you could hurt me really badly.”
Her answer is soft and honest, and it only makes me want her more.
“We can do that.” I bend to kiss her neck, sucking at the salt-covered skin until she gasps, grinding her hips through the water seeking me. That’s her spot. One of them. She wants to take it slow? I’m willing to take my time finding all the others.
Bristol
TAP, TAP, TAP.
I look up from the suitcase I’m packing. Someone’s knocking on the door of Grady’s guest bedroom. I hastily tuck the cheap whistle Grip won for me at the carnival into the bag and zip it up. When I open the door, Rhyson stands in the hall.
“Can I come in?” His dark hair, always a gorgeous mess, flops into his eyes.
“Sure.” I step back and wave him in, sitting on the bed and waiting to hear what he has to say. We’ve had very little time alone since the night we talked after the club. We spent yesterday with his friends, and he had to go back to the studio last night.
“All packed, huh?” He eyes my huge suitcase.
“Looks that way.” A small, sad smile touches my mouth. “I’ll miss LA. Who’d have thought?”
“Will you miss LA, or will you miss your big brother?” he teases.
“Not this big brother stuff again.”
“I haven’t been much of one.” His smile fades. “A brother, I mean.”
Instead of answering, I wait for him to go on.
He shakes his head. “It’s so hard to know what to trust when it comes to them, to our parents.”
“You can trust me to be who I say I am, Rhyson. Your sister.” I tilt my chin and flash him some confidence in the form of a smile. “You’ll see that when I’m managing that career for you.”
“I don’t have a career.” He laughs and leans back on the bed, propped on his elbows.
“But you will. You should. And when you do, I’ll be right there to help you.”
“You can’t build plans around something that hasn’t happened yet.”
“Idiot, what do you think dreams are if not plans we make based on things that haven’t happened yet?”
We laugh a little, and I lie back beside him, resting my head on his shoulder. What I wouldn’t have given years ago to have my brother like this. To have time with him when he wasn’t rehearsing or touring or doing whatever was required of him.
“Don’t you have any dreams of your own?” he asks.
Grip’s face, his soft touches and promises in the dark waters last night, come to mind. I want to believe him because those kisses on the Ferris wheel, in the fun house, in the ocean were the best of my life. The conversations we’ve had this week changed me. No controversy, no memory, no hope or fear was off limits. They have woven themselves—he has woven himself—into the fabric of my dreams so quickly it frightens me.
“I do have dreams,” I finally answer. “And they’re all here now.”
He smiles at me slowly and nods.
“We better get going.” Rhyson glances at his watch, and it makes me think of the cheap watch I won for Grip last night. I shake off memories of the carnival as Rhyson rolls the Louis bag out of my room and down the hall.
“It’s a shame I didn’t get to see Uncle Grady this trip.”
“Next time,” Rhyson says. “But there are some people who want to tell you goodbye.”
When we enter the living room, my new friends are all there. Jimmi, Luke, Mandi, and standing at the back of the group is Grip, his eyes a beautifully laid trap I stumble into and can’t wriggle free of.
“Oh, you guys.” I wrap my arms around Jimmi, who squeezes me so tightly I can barely breathe.
“I feel like I found a new bestie.” Jimmi blinks tears from her big blue eyes. “We have to talk every week, and you have to come back soon. And I can come to New York, too.”
“Deal.” I smile through a few tears of my own. “We’ll stay in touch. Don’t worry.”
I haven’t spent as much time with Luke and Mandi, but it’s still sweet of them to show up to say goodbye to me. They’re both cool, and Rhyson is lucky to have this tight-knit circle of people in his life. I don’t really have anything like them in New York, and it makes me want to wish away the next two years at Columbia so I can move here right away.
And then there’s Grip.
We take a few careful steps toward each other, and I feel like everyone’s watching us.
“Thank you for everything,” I say softly, leaving a few inches between us. His eyes burn a mute plea for more.
“No problem. Sure.”
He glances down at the floor before slipping his arms around my waist and dragging me against his warm, hard body. Not caring what Rhyson or anyone else thinks, I tip up on my toes and hook my elbows behind his neck as tightly as I can. His hands spread over my back, fitting my curves to all his ridges and planes.
“You come back to me, okay?” he whispers in my ear. “Slow doesn’t mean stop, right?”
My cheeks fire up, and I glance self-consciously at the others, but they aren’t paying attention. Rhyson is rolling my suitcase out to the car, and Mandi, Luke, and Jimmi are talking about last night at the beach swimming nude. Or semi-nude. Jimmi was the only one brave/crazy enough to be fully naked.
“No, slow doesn’t mean stop,” I agree. “In fact—”
His phone ringing interrupts me telling him I plan to come back this summer when I have a few days off from my internship.
“Lemme grab this,” he says frowning at the phone. “It’s Jade.”
I remember her name from the story he told me on the Ferris wheel. The one he still feels guilt over.
“Hey, whassup?” He presses the phone to his ear, and his brows snap together. “Why’d you tell her I was here?”
I turn away, heeding Rhyson’s call to come on or I’ll miss my flight. We walk outside to load up the car so we can get on the road. Rhyson and Grip are taking me, and I’m not sure if we should tell Rhyson what has been going on or not. It feels like such a fledgling thing but still substantial enough that he should know. I’m still silently debating when a Toyota Camry pulls up to the curb, and a curvy woman with dark brown skin and black, curly hair gets out. A scowl mars her beautiful face, and anger has her arms swinging at her side with her long strides.