And. I. Was. Gone.
With a surge of lust, I pushed her against the tree and opened my mouth, tasting her and only her. Want poured through my limbs, pounded through my veins until I was dizzy with it. Her mouth was so soft, so perfect, so tempting.
My hands moved to her sides, running up and down, and then I froze.
I couldn’t.
She was drunk.
It was wrong.
All wrong.
Images flashed before my eyes.
I released her in absolute horror.
She blinked up at me, her swollen lips more tempting than anything I’d ever seen in my entire life. “I liked that.”
“You won’t remember it in the morning.” Thank God for that.
“I’m going to pray I do.” She leaned toward me. I backed away and grabbed her hand.
“It’s time for bed, little girl.”
“You called me pretty.”
“I called you gorgeous.”
“You kissed me.”
“You kissed me, and I almost suffocated to death. Don’t read too much into it Bee, you’ll only get hurt.”
She laughed and then put her head on my shoulder. “I liked it a lot.”
“Yeah well, we all like playing with bombs — until they go off.”
“Are you a bomb?”
“What do you think?”
“I think…” Her eyes were clearer than I’d seen them all day as we walked into the lodge. “…that you’re full of shit.”
“Ha, that, I hope you remember tomorrow.”
“I will!” she shouted triumphantly then almost walked into a wall trying to get into her room.
“You were saying?” I crossed my arms.
“Screw you. I’m tired.” She yawned and slammed the door behind her while I just stood there, horrified.
I pulled out my cell to call Tex.
And dialed Chase instead.
“Problem.” My voice was hollow. “Big problem.”
“Oh shit,” Chase mumbled. “Did you kill someone?”
“No.”
“The feds are there?”
“No.”
“Dude, I don’t see a problem.”
“Bee got drunk.”
Chase whistled.
“And attacked me with her mouth.”
He let out a low curse then started laughing hysterically. “And you wanted to gossip about it or what?”
“Asshole. Do I call Tex?”
“That depends. Do you want him to cut off every toe but one, paint them, and then mail them to you, just so you can see what they look like unattached to your feet?”
I groaned. “She got drunk, and I tried to make sure she got back to her room safe. It was nothing. You know…” My voice cracked. “…you know I can’t… ever since.”
Chase muttered a curse. “I know, man. I know. I mean, I don’t know the hell that goes through that brain of yours, but I can imagine it isn’t pretty, and I can imagine that touching a girl after… well, after all that shit isn’t the easiest thing… are you… okay?”
For some reason, my throat felt thick. Why the hell had I called Chase of all people? “No. I don’t think so.”
“You still get anxiety attacks?”
“Daily.”
“Okay, so tonight might be worse than normal. Make sure you take something to help you sleep, and I’ll monitor the cameras and watch Bee sleep. Which, by the way, sounds like the worst idea I’ve ever had since my wife just gave me bedroom eyes, but I’ll do it. Just go to sleep and maybe take a shot of whiskey.”
“No whiskey, but sleep sounds good.”
“I got you.”
That damn lump in my throat reappeared. “Thanks, Chase.”
“Don’t mention it.”
I laughed.
“No, seriously, don’t. Sometimes Tex scares the shit out of me, and if you go down, you go down alone.”
“Understood.”
“Night.”
“Good night.” I shoved my phone back in my pocket and made my way to the room I was staying in — by myself.
I took a sleeping pill and closed my eyes.
As expected, images of the girls I’d raped, images of Trace flooded my vision until I spent half the night puking in the bathroom.
Funny, a part of me had expected her kiss to save me.
Instead, it just reminded me of my past, and of my future — if I ever gave into it again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Regret always comes in the morning… always.
Bee
LAUGHTER WOKE ME FROM my amazing dream about Phoenix. He’d tasted like cinnamon. And I’d always been a huge fan of anything spicy.
I tried to swallow, but my throat was so dry it was like my body had stopped producing saliva. Slowly, I rose from the bed and winced. My head was pounding like crazy too. What had I done last night?
I shook my head. It only made the pounding worse.
“Beer.” Andi stood to my right, holding out a bottle of water and two Tylenol. “I said no to drinking. You stayed.”
“You’re a wiser person than me.”
She grinned. “I know, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to have fun. I just can’t mix drugs with alcohol.”
“Drugs?” I repeated. “You’re on drugs?”
“The doctor kind.” She winked. “Oh, and by the way you should probably wash your face and put on two tubes of ChapStick before you go downstairs.”