“You smell like French fries.” There was humor laced through his deep voice, but the reminder I was an actual mess slammed the brakes on the surge of lust rising from my belly.
I blinked and shrugged a shoulder in an effort to appear nonchalant. “Hazard of the job. I didn’t want to wake Noble up if she was sleeping. It’s pretty close to her bedtime. I’m so sorry I’m so late. It was chaos.” Seriously. It was starting to get to the point where I couldn’t remember what it was like not to have anyone in my corner to rely on. I was starting to forget that hollow, empty feeling of always being alone.
“We had fun. Noble is a riot and she’s easy to entertain. We had chicken nuggets for dinner and she watched cartoons while I hammered out a couple of assignments on the computer. She passed out about an hour ago, so I moved her from the couch to my bed. I think I wore her out. I took her to the park so she could swing, and then we went to my old high school so I could race her around the track. I let her win, but don’t tell her that. The school has a program for kids who don’t have a great place to go after class, so I took Noble to one of the art rooms and let her play around with finger paints for a while. We made a mess, but she had a good time.” He chuckled and crossed his arms over his bare chest, making his tattooed skin flex and firm in an enticing way. I couldn’t pull my gaze away if I wanted to. Not that I did. He was beautiful. He was his own kind of art. “A couple of my old teachers congratulated me on becoming a father. I think I broke their hearts when I told them she wasn’t mine.”
A pang struck the center of my chest at the thought of Noble being his. If she were his, that would mean I was his as well. No matter how different we were, I couldn’t deny something inside of me adored the idea of being claimed by someone as good, as protective, as strong, and as sure as Solo.
“Well, let me grab her and we’ll both get out of your hair for the rest of the night. I’m sure you’re busy.” He always was. “How about another dinner to repay you?” And maybe another kiss? But I would never be confident enough to throw such an offer out there.
One of his dark eyebrows shot upward and his unreadable gaze skated over my thoroughly disheveled form. “How about you go take a shower and relax for five minutes. You can come collect your kid when you don’t smell like a fast food restaurant. And I’m not interested in repayment. What I want from you is honesty. If you want to give me something, come back with the truth. I want to know how you managed to pay for a full year’s worth of rent when you could barely afford your phone bill a few weeks ago.”
My first instinct was to shove past him, grab my kid, and shut the door on what he was asking of me. The truth was the one thing I didn’t think I could give to anyone. Not if I wanted to stay alive and keep my kid out of the hands of monsters. But the weight of everything I was holding onto had started to take its toll, and I was exhausted from carrying it all alone. Maybe if I handed some of it off to someone strong enough to shoulder it, I would stop feeling like I was being crushed.
Slowly, I nodded in agreement. “Fine. Let me go shower and I’ll be back over in a few minutes.”
Solo grinned in satisfaction at his win. “Did you eat at work? If not, I can probably find something and have it ready for you by the time you come back.”
Dear Lord, could he get any better? When was the last time I’d had anyone not only offer me five minutes to myself, but also care for me in the most basic of ways? Swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, I croaked out, “I ate between shifts. I’m good. I’ll be right back.” I bolted for my own apartment before I threw myself at him and begged him to keep me and never let me go.
I thoroughly enjoyed my shower. Well, as much as I could in the cramped space with terrible water pressure. Usually I was so preoccupied worrying about Noble, I rushed through the few minutes a day I was alone with my thoughts. Not tonight. Tonight, she was safe and sound under the watchful of eye of someone who would burn the world to ash if anyone or anything tried to harm her. If I was certain of one thing about Solo, it was that.
I took my time washing my hair. I shaved my legs and any other part of me which needed to be groomed. I used a liberal amount of body wash and scrubbed myself down until every single part of me felt spotless and smooth. It was a simple luxury, but one I’d missed out on for far too long.
When I got out of the shower, I threw on a stretchy black tank and a pair of yoga pants, figuring I was headed right to bed as soon as I collected my kid and finished the heart to heart with Solo. Plus, he’d already seen me covered in restaurant castoffs looking like something the cat dragged in. At least I smelled like orange blossoms now and not fries.
I tapped on the door again and was immediately ushered inside. The apartment was dim, Solo had a beer in his hand and offered to grab me one from the fridge. Figuring I might need the liquid courage, I accepted as I made my way to the massive couch which filled his living room. His laptop was open on the coffee table and SpongeBob Squarepants was playing without the sound on his huge, flat screen TV. The sight made me smile and I realized how lucky Noble and I were to end up in this really bad place inhabited by some really great people. Maybe it was true. Once you hit rock bottom, the only way to go was up.
I took the cold beer and clasped it between my hands. Solo situated himself next to me on the couch, one arm thrown over the back as he turned sideways so he was looking directly at me. Part of me wanted to ask him to put a shirt on so I could get through the little I could tell him without distraction, but a way bigger part of me was enjoying the view too much to say anything.
I looked down at the drink in my hand, then up at the man sitting across from me. “It’s weird that I’m old enough to be someone’s mother, but not old enough to drink this beer legally.” I sighed. “Most of the time I feel like I skipped right over being a teenager.”
Solo nodded and took a swig of his drink. “Most of us who grew up in the city feel that way. We never really got a chance to experience being young and carefree. We’re born on the defense and ready to fight.”
I sighed and leaned my head back against the cushion of the couch. “Oh, I had it pretty good when I was growing up. Both my parents come from money so I didn’t really want for anything.” Aside from basic love and affection. I’d been spoiled and bratty enough not to care too much about the absence of either of those things until I realized I was going to be the one responsible for providing them for a new, fragile life. “I had a really nice car, a gift from my mother for my sixteenth birthday. When I had to leave where I used to live, I sold it. I used the cash from the sale to make sure Noble and I would have a roof over our heads for a year. I figured shelter was the most pressing need I had to cover.”
I could see a million questions shooting through his dark eyes, but the only one he asked was, “What kind of car did you sell?”
Considering he was a car guy, it shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. “Uh, a Jaguar F-TYPE.” It was a far cry from the beater I was driving now.
His eyes widened and he nearly choked on a mouthful of beer. “That’s a sixty-thousand-dollar car, Orley. I’ve never even seen one in person. A year’s worth of rent in this dump is barely thirteen thousand. Why are you living like a pauper?”
I sucked in a breath through my teeth and squeezed the chilly bottle between my palms. “I didn’t sell it for what it was worth. I took the best cash offer I got. I paid for this apartment for a year, set some emergency money aside, and the rest…” I sighed and closed my eyes. “I paid off Noble’s father. I knew he was going to be the weak link, the only tie that would keep me tethered to our old life. I bribed him to sign away his parental rights, and since he’s gallivanting around Europe, acting like he doesn’t care about a damn thing, he took the money and ran.” I didn’t regret getting him out of the way in the slightest, even if keeping some of the money would have made things easier for me and Noble along the way. My daughter was mine and mine alone. No one was ever going to have any kind of claim on her. I was never going to lose her. “That’s where the money came from. That’s how I could afford a year’s worth of rent.”
I stared at him silently, waiting for the much harder questions. The ones I didn’t know if I was ever going to be able to answer. He regarded me thoughtfully while we finished our drinks in a tense silence.
When he reached out and took the empty bottle from my hand, my breath caught and I could feel my heart pound against my ribs. When he leaned in close, I caught a hint of something minty clinging to his skin, and could immediately feel the heat radiating off his bare skin. My eyes locked on the tattoo inked across the base of his throat. I wanted to press forward and put my mouth on it. Sucking in a shaky breath, I reluctantly lifted my gaze up to his.
I went still as a statue when one of his hands reached out and hooked a strand of damp hair which had escaped my messy ponytail.
“I have questions. You know I do. However, I can see you aren’t ready to answer them.” I nodded slowly as his warm palm settled against my cheek. We both inhaled a noisy breath and started to involuntarily move closer to one another. “I can also see that you didn’t bother to put a bra on after your shower. Guess which of those things I can’t stop thinking about?”
I shivered when he used his thumb to trace the line of my cheekbone. I lowered my lashes and told him, “Trying to have a conversation with you while you’re half-dressed wasn’t nearly as easy as I made it look either.”
He chuckled and I was suddenly surrounded by his heat as he pressed close enough to touch his lips against my temple. “Good, my plan worked. I like that I can distract you, that I can take you out of your own head where all those secrets live, for a little while.” His hand lowered to my jaw and his fingers brushed lightly over my lips. “I like that I can see how quickly you react to my touch and how you aren’t hiding from me.”
The thin cotton of my tank clearly showed the outline of my tightened nipples and couldn’t hide the flush steadily crawling up my chest. Maybe I’d dressed so carelessly on purpose. It was possible I wanted to distract him from the questions as much as he wanted to distract me from the things I was running from. I had to admit I loved the dark heat in his eyes when he looked at me and the impatient vibration in his touch. His mouth was a millimeter away from mine. All it would take was the slightest move of my head to press my lips against his for a second time. I waited breathlessly for Solo to close the infinitesimal distance, and realized after a moment he wasn’t going to do it. If I wanted something more, wanted him, I was going to have to take it. I was going to have to be the one who moved toward him… so I did.