My head throbbed as I made my way to the elevator. I was going to call in sick. I couldn’t look all of those people in the face when I knew what I knew. I had to figure this out. Find a way to know exactly who was involved and who was being kept in the dark like me. My head was down as the doors opened. When I looked up, he was standing in front of me, a newspaper tucked under his arm. Shit, why hadn’t I thought to take the stairs?
I threw my shoulders back, forcing a smile.
“Good morning, Daddy.”
He nodded at me, exiting the elevator. Then all of a sudden, he stopped. “Why are you here so early?”
The lie rolled off my tongue easily. “I’m not feeling well today. I just came in to pick up some work. I’m taking the day off.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You look fine. Go home and change and come back in. I need you here today.”
“I’m sick,” I said, like he hadn’t heard me the first time.
“This is a pharmaceutical company, Johanna. Go get some samples out of storage and medicate yourself.”
I watched the empty hallway for a good minute after he’d disappeared into his office. Did that really just happen? Of course it did. My father hadn’t taken a sick day in twenty years of work, what would make me think it would be okay to offer him illness as an excuse? I stepped into the elevator and the door closed. If I hurried, I could be back in forty minutes.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Present
Caleb took the baby to his condo the day after he came to pick up his clothes. His face was grim and determined as he stood at the door and let me say goodbye. I kiss the red fuzz on her head and smile casually. I am treating this whole situation as if they are going to the supermarket rather than moving out. Bide your time. Let him see how hard it is to take care of a baby by himself. I feel smug as they pull out of the driveway. Sometimes a little separation is good for the soul. Caleb is a family man. In a few days, he’ll be back, and I’ll try harder. Everything will work out. Estella is my sure thing. She’ll keep us tied together no matter how bad things get.
When his car lights disappear, I open the freezer and pull out two bags of frozen vegetables. Carrying them to the table, I poke holes in the plastic with my finger and start thumbing peas into my mouth. There are things I could do to make the situation better. Katine takes her kids to Mommy & Me classes. They sit in circles and sing and bang f**king tambourines. I could do that.
The doorbell rings. I shove a handful of lima beans into my mouth and dance toward the door. Maybe, Caleb has changed his mind already.
My husband is not standing on the doorstep. I eye the man who is.
“What do you want?”
“I came to see if you were all right.”
“Why wouldn’t I be all right?” I snap. I make to close the door, but he pushes past me and walks into the foyer.
“You shouldn’t be here.” My words might as well be vapor. They don’t reach him, or he has his own agenda, per usual.
He looks over his shoulder at me, his smirk so familiar I feel my vertigo slip.
“Of course I should be here. I’m checking up on my sister-in-law. It’s the family thing to do, especially since my brother has left you.”
I throw the door closed and the pictures on the wall rattle.
“He hasn’t left me, you abhorrent prick.” I march past him and sit at the table with my peas.
He strolls in a moment later and starts examining the photos on the wall like he’s never seen them. I eat my peas one by one and watch him.
Finally, he sits down across from me, folding his hands on the tabletop.
“What did you do this time?”
I look away from the smug expression on his face. “I didn’t do anything. Everything is fine. He hasn’t left me.”
“I heard they passed you up for the Mommy of the Year award.”
I bite the insides of my cheek and refuse to respond. Seth gets up and ambles over to the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a finger of Caleb’s Scotch.
“If you keep it up, my baby brother might actually file the papers this time. A man can only take so much of your never-ending antics.”
I throw him a dirty look. “And then what, Seth? You move in and take over his life?”
This time I’ve thrown him off balance. He lifts the glass to his lips, never breaking eye contact with me. Unlike his brother’s, Seth’s eyes are grey. At the moment, I can almost see the smoke coming out of them.
“Did I hit a nerve, big brother? Wanting what Caleb has again?”
I stand up and make to walk past him, but he grabs my upper arm. I struggle to free myself, but he squeezes until I still.
His mouth is next to my ear. “Maybe I should tell him that I’ve already had what’s his.”
I yank myself free.
“Get out of my house.”
He sets his glass down and winks at me, heading for the door. “I think I’ll go visit my baby niece today. Buh-bye, Leah.”
The door closes. “Son of a bitch,” I say. I mean this literally. I march back to the kitchen and pick up the phone. I needed to get out, do something, but ... not something destructive. I pass by Katine’s name and pause over Sam’s.
“What’s up, g*y man?” I say into the receiver.
“That’s kind of offensive, Leah.”
“I was thinking we could do a little shopping today. Maybe lunch?”
“Just because I’m g*y doesn’t mean I’m going to be your flaming sidekick.”