The black iron railing offered support for her trembling hands. Everything she had once planned for and thought she wanted with Clay, disappeared in the distance. And as she watched it all fade away in her mind, she realized that fear was absent. In its place resided hints of excitement. And she knew in that moment that she had done the right thing.
Still trembling, she walked down the three flights of marble stairs to her car. Once safely inside, she called Bailey. “That didn’t take very long,” Bailey noted.
“I know. I thought he would fight with me a lot more, but I think maybe he’s in shock? I don’t know. It was awful. And even though I’m the one who did this, I feel sick to my stomach.”
“Love isn’t all rainbows and unicorns all the time. And neither is life. Sometimes life is really freaking hard.”
“I still feel like shit. Just remind me that I’m not a terrible person, okay?” Caroline trembled.
Bailey’s voice rose in volume and strength. “You’re NOT a terrible person, Caroline Weber. Do you hear me? What would be terrible would be if you married someone you didn’t love with all your heart. That’s not fair to either of you. And it’s selfish.”
Caroline sniffed and her eyes burned. “Thanks, Bails. Be there in five.”
“I’ll wait outside for you.”
Bailey hugged Caroline the moment she exited her car. “I know it’s hard. You’re doing the right thing.”
Caroline tried to nod. “I feel so bad, though. You have no idea.”
“That’s because you’re leaving your comfort zone. You’re leaving the predictable and heading into the unknown. That’s always scary.”
“It’s not that though, Bails. I don’t feel bad for me. I mean, I seriously want to kick my own ass for hurting Clay like this.”
“You could always change your mind.” Bailey let out an exasperated breath.
Caroline winced. “I don’t want to change my mind.”
Bailey smiled. “See. It’s the right thing then. How’s Jackson?”
Caroline sat on Bailey’s oversized sofa chair and curled into a ball. “He’s in a medically-induced coma. His head is so swollen, it’s terrifying. The doctors have to wait for the swelling to go down before they can even try to wake him up.”
“That sounds scary.”
“It was. Seeing him like that—” Caroline shuddered—“was really hard.”
“Did you meet his parents and stuff?”
“They didn’t even know who I was,” Caroline said as her eyes dropped.
“Shit. You’re kidding? I’m sorry, Care.”
Caroline shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a nearby pillow before holding it against her stomach. “I just didn’t expect that, you know?”
Bailey’s eyes lit up as she put the pieces together. “Is that why you came back so soon?”
Caroline avoided her friend’s curious eyes. “Partly.”
“Mostly.”
Caroline looked up. “Mostly.”
Bailey gave her a squeeze. “I love you. You will be okay. All of this will work out. I know it’s hard right now, but it won’t be forever.”
“I sure hope you’re right.” Caroline closed her puffy eyes, hoping for any sliver of solace.
Chapter Seventeen
Caroline took the following day off from work to pack her things at the apartment she used to share with Clay. She walked through the door and nearly jumped ten feet when she saw him at the table.
“I didn’t think you’d be here, Clay. I’m sorry, I can come back later or something,” Caroline offered.
“No. I wanted to be here.” Clay’s eyelids were swollen and dark circles surrounded his eyes.
“Are you sure? I promise I won’t take anything that isn’t mine.” She glanced around at the things they shared.
Clay tried to laugh, “I don’t think you’re going to take my stuff Caroline. I just…” He stopped talking and placed a finger against the side of his head. “It just doesn’t make sense, Care.”
Caroline’s heart started to throb in her chest. She moved to put her purse on the counter. “What do you mean?” she asked as calmly as possible.
“I still don’t get why you rushed off to New York? If Tracey’s fine, then why’d you leave like that? I don’t understand where you went.” Clay’s eyes crinkled as he waited.
She felt horrible for lying and knew she needed to come clean. At first, she thought the lie was to protect Clay from being hurt more. But the reality was, she was protecting herself. She didn’t want to give Clay a reason to hate her.
Caroline wondered if she had the courage to be completely honest with him. She looked at Clay’s somber face before he implored, “Please…just tell me the truth.”
Nerves rattled her body from the inside out. “I got a phone call during the party.” Caroline moved to sit in the chair directly across from him. She swallowed hard, the lump noticeable in her throat. “Do you remember the guy from the airplane?”
Clay’s forehead wrinkled. “Jackson, or something like that?”
Caroline nodded. “He was in a real bad accident.”
“So? What does that have to do with you?”
As Caroline gazed at the table in front of her, Clay’s anger returned. “Caroline! What does that guy getting in an accident have to do with you?”