“Yes. The activity today has helped keep my mind off of things. If I was sitting at home, I’d be going nuts wondering what progress was being made.”
“You’re on vacation,” Zander pointed out. “Why don’t you go hiking or something?”
“Uh-huh.” She shot him a sideways look. “That’s exactly what I need to do. Give me something to do with my brain, please.”
He pushed open a door and let her pass in front of him.
Steve Jordan turned around. He’d been studying a child’s finger painting displayed on the wall. Apparently the room was used as a preschool art department of some sort. Steve looked from one of them to the other and his gaze homed in on Ava as his eyebrows rose. “You were there! Oh, thank God you’re okay. What happened to the other girl? The one that was bleeding?”
“Misty is fine. She had surgery and is recovering.”
Steve slumped down in a chair. “I told every police officer I saw about the two of you once I got Chase out of there. You don’t know how shitty I felt about leaving you guys behind. I’ve been watching the news, and I knew one woman died, but they said she was shot in front of the theater, so I knew it couldn’t be one of you. I prayed that you’d made it out okay.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “And I’m not a guy who prays.”
Ava was touched. “Thank you. I appreciate your concern.” He looked like a middle-class dad in his early thirties who spent his weekends mowing the lawn and taking his son to the zoo. Cargo shorts, concert T-shirt, wavy dark hair in need of a cut. He hadn’t shaved in a few days and had large bags under his eyes that Ava suspected were new for him.
The shooting had created hundreds, possibly thousands of victims.
Victims who hadn’t lost blood, but who had lost sleep and peace of mind. People who would forever look over their shoulders at loud noises in malls. Victims who would panic at the sounds of kids lighting fireworks in May. Employees who would study every shopper with an oblong package. People who would never lose the tension in their shoulders while in public places.
Then it would extend to their families and friends who had to cope with the anxiety and odd behaviors.
“How is your son? You said his name is Chase?” Ava asked.
He gave a weak smile. “He’s good. He hasn’t mentioned the man in the mask or the loud gunshots. But I haven’t taken him anywhere in public. I felt like we needed to stick closer to home for a while. I wonder if he’ll have flashbacks if we enter an unfamiliar bathroom.”
“Maybe you should let more time pass before testing his reactions.” Ava completely understood.
“I was supposed to grocery-shop this morning, and I spent an hour stressing about taking him out of the house.” Steve leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs and his hands clenched together. “I finally decided to take him to my mother’s. She lives forty-five minutes away, but the peace of mind was worth it, knowing he was with her in a place that’s as familiar as his own home. She lives in a rural area.” He gave a harsh laugh. “And then I couldn’t relax in the grocery store. I looked around every sixty seconds and forgot half the things on my list.”
Victims.
“You’re married, Mr. Jordan?” Zander asked.
“My wife works. I stay home with our son. Best fucking job I’ve ever had.” He paused. “Until yesterday.”
Zander and Ava took seats at the table across from the father. Steve studied her and then looked at Zander and then back at her again. “You’re with the police.” It wasn’t a question.
“I’m a special agent with the FBI,” Ava said. “I was simply passing through the mall that morning, just like you.” She gestured at Zander. “I asked Special Agent Wells to let me thank you for your offer of help; it meant a lot to both of us. I could tell it wasn’t easy for you, but your son needed you, and there was nothing you could have done.”
His shoulders deflated. “I could have set him down and helped you with the other woman. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought back and wanted to do the right thing.”
“That would have been unfair. Chase needed you to get him out. Misty and I would have slowed you down considerably. That wouldn’t have been worth the risk.”
Steve gave a shuddering sigh and turned his gaze away. “If something had happened to one of you, I don’t know how I would have handled it.”
“And if something had happened to your son if you’d stopped?” Ava asked.
His gaze shot back to hers; his chin came up. “I’d be in hell.”
“Don’t play that game with yourself,” she emphasized. “It’s over. You made the right decision and everything worked out. Don’t waste your time worrying about something that didn’t happen.”
“What were you doing at the mall that early?” Zander asked, subtly shifting the subject.
“I’d taken Chase to play on the little playground. And there’s a good water fountain for kids at the other end of the mall. I try to get him out of the house to burn off some energy every day during the summer before it gets too hot.” He grimaced. “He’s up by six A.M. and full of energy. Our days start early.”
“And you were using the restroom when the shooter entered?”
“I was washing my hands and Chase’s at the time. I remember he calmly walked in the door, and I glanced up to acknowledge him and did a double take.”