“What you did to me. Do all guys know it?”
He was quiet. I could see his eyes blinking as he stared up at the ceiling. I think he was trying to figure out how to answer the question. A faint glow came through the window from outside. There was just enough moonlight peeking through the shade for me to see Matt’s lazy smile. “I don’t know if all guys know how, but if I told you how I learned it, you’d laugh.”
“Oh, you must tell me now.” I bit his arm. “What, are you like a porn connoisseur?”
“No. Men learn nothing from porn. I think porn is more about pleasing men.” Matt was wise beyond his years.
“Hmm, maybe I should watch some then.”
“You’ll be fine. Your mere existence is pleasing enough. Trust me.”
Pushing myself off his arm, I rolled onto my other side, facing away from him. “Oh please, Matt. I know nothing and I’m going to embarrass myself when we do it.”
He rolled over and tucked me against his body, spooning me. His voice was low. “Don’t think about doing it anymore, okay, Grace? Let’s just let it happen naturally.”
“Fine.” I said through a yawn.
We lay in the hazy light, teetering on the brink of sleep. “My mother taught me.”
“What?” That woke me up. “Your mom taught you what?”
“Well, she’s kind of a hippie-feminist. It’s not that she showed me what to do. She was always trying to teach my brother and me how to treat women equally, and I guess this was just part of it.”
“And so . . . ?”
“She gave me a book on the female orgasm and basically said, ‘Don’t be an asshole.’ ”
I laughed so hard that my body curled into a little ball. “Wow!” I chuckled. “I really like your mom, Matt.”
“You two would get along.”
“So you read the book?” I asked.
“Every goddam page. Many times.”
“Well, you certainly aced the practical test, although I’m sure it wasn’t the first time you’ve taken it.”
“No more talking, Gracie. Close your eyes.”
“Maybe I’ll get to meet your mom sometime.”
“Yeah.” It was quiet for few minutes. “I hope.”
I woke up alone the next morning. On my nightstand sat a bagel, coffee, and a note.
G-
I had to run . Daria had bagels so I snagged one for you . Just eat it, don’t smell it first, or else you’ll catch a whiff of fish sticks. What is wrong with her?! I have to work tonight, but you should come to the PhotoHut so we can talk and figure things out. I’m going home to California for Christmas. You want to come with? You can meet my mom and thank her for my mad skills. Peace, M
The thought of spending Christmas with him put a huge smile on my face.
11. We Made Unspoken Promises
Grace
I hung out with Tati in Washington Square Park all afternoon. We were supposed to practice but we ended up smoking a joint, and I gave her the details about last night. I believe her reaction was, “I can’t believe you experienced the big O. That’s like skipping ten steps and going straight to boning-
for-years status.” I blushed about ten shades of pink.
The weather quickly got cold and gloomy, and when I left Tati at the park, I felt the first drop of rain hit my cheek. Fuck. I had six blocks to go, no umbrella or money to spare for a cab, and an enormous cello.
In the time it took me to get to the PhotoHut, the skies opened up and I was soaked within minutes. As I ran into the store, the door jingled but Matt wasn’t behind the counter.
“Gracie, I’m in here!” he yelled from the back room.
“How’d you know it was me?” I yelled back.
I turned the corner and found him sitting at a desk with one small desk lamp on. He looked over his shoulder and smiled. “I could just tell.”
“Prove it.”
Matt laughed. “You swing the door all the way open to accommodate your cello case, even when you’re not carrying it. The bell jingles a second longer with you than the average customer.”
He looked up from his dimly lit desk and saw me. “Jesus. You’re freezing, Grace.”
He stood and hurried toward me, taking the cello from my hands. “It’s pouring,” I said and then a visible shiver snaked through my body. My numb fingers made it impossible to unbutton my jacket. Matt quickly undid the buttons for me and pushed my peacoat off my shoulders, letting it fall to the ground. He wrapped his tall body around me, and within seconds I was warm.
“I was in the park with Tati and then it started raining.”
“Shh, you’re drenched, you should get out of these clothes.” He let go of me and began searching the cabinet for something while I checked to make sure my cello case wasn’t wet on the inside.
He came toward me with a towel. “I knew these were in here somewhere. Do you want to take your sweater off and I can throw it in the dryer?”
“There’s a dryer here?”
“Well, it’s a print dryer. It’s like a big hot roller, but at least you won’t be freezing while you’re here.”
“I can just go home.”
His brow furrowed.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Don’t you think we should talk?”
“I guess we should talk,” I said, hesitantly. I went to lift my sweater over my head and noticed his eyes were fixed on me. “Turn around.” I said.