“I like your neuroses.” I put my arm around her shoulder. “I’m just not going to let anyone use you as a lab rat.”
As she walked by the refreshment table, she scooped a handful of creamers out of the bowl and shoved them into her bag. She would steal creamers everywhere we went, mix them with water, and pour them over her cereal. I smiled at her and shook my head. In a silly voice she said, “Just goin’ grocery shoppin’.” The mood suddenly lifted and we both laughed as we walked out the door. Still, it killed me to think Grace was sending her parents money that her dad was probably using for beer.
We went to the bank and I withdrew the last three hundred dollars I had. I didn’t tell Grace that I actually had negative eight cents in my account after the withdrawal. She took me to the pawnshop where she had dealt her cello, and we were greeted by a middle-aged man behind the counter. “Hello, Grace,” he said.
I shot Grace a disapproving look. “He knows you?” I whispered.
She pinched her eyebrows together. “Kind of.”
“Here to pick up your cello?”
“Yep,” Grace said.
I handed the man three hundred dollars. He went into the back and returned a moment later with the large cello case. Grace completed the paperwork and we left. Once outside the building, I turned to her. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
I went back inside the pawnshop and asked the man for a piece of paper. “Here’s the number where I live. Please don’t let Grace pawn her cello again. She’s an extraordinary musician. She needs it for school. Just call me and I’ll come down and straighten things out.”
That night, after Grace went to bed, I snuck down to the lounge and called my father collect from the payphone.
“Son?”
“Hi, Dad.”
“Hey there. You impressing everyone at NYU?” Sarcasm seeped through every syllable. He was never good at hiding his disdain.
“I called because I have a friend who needs help and I was wondering if you could loan me some money to lend to her.” My pride was completely gone. I closed my eyes and waited for his response.
“This is for a her? A girlfriend?”
“No, Dad. It’s not like that.”
“You get some girl in trouble? Is that what you’re telling me?”
I took a deep breath. “She’s my closest friend here, and she doesn’t have any help financially. Not like me and Alex. She’s putting herself through school almost completely on her own. She’s a musician and needs a new cello, but she can’t afford it.” I had to lie a little; I didn’t want to go into all the details.
“You know, I have your brother’s wedding to pay for.”
“Monica’s parent’s aren’t paying for the wedding?”
“Well, we want to throw them a nice engagement party, and then we have the rehearsal dinner and open bar and . . .”
“Okay, Dad. No problem.”
A beat of silence. “Well, at least you’re starting to appreciate what we’ve done for you. How much do you need, son?”
“A few hundred dollars.”
“I’ll put it in your account tomorrow. You know, I’m willing to help you out, Matthias. Just because you’ve decided on the hardest possible future . . .”
I laughed. He couldn’t help himself.
“I’ll get a job and pay you back. Thanks, Dad.” I hung up.
As painful as it was to call him, I didn’t care; all I could think about was how hard Grace worked, all the sacrifices she made just to play her music. She believed in it, she had faith that it would all be worth it, and what is faith if it doesn’t endure? That’s what I was learning from her: how to have faith in myself and my art.
I felt it for Grace before I even had a name for it. I might have said the word a million times, but it sounded different now that I meant it. When I thought about what we had, it didn’t matter that it was just friendship. I loved her.
8. You Changed Me
Grace
Even though I had mastered the art of running while carrying a giant cello case, I was still late to class the next morning. Thankfully, Professor Pornsake liked me and his class was a breeze, though not because I was a teacher’s pet, as Tatiana claimed. All I had to do was play my cello, the one thing I did well. On most days, I would close my eyes, forget about everything, and escape into the music. But that Friday was different.
“You’re late again, Graceland.”
“Grace,” I corrected him as I pulled my cello and bow from the case. There were several broken hairs hanging from the bow, and I attempted to pull them off while Dan hovered over me in his khakis, belted too high, and his orange polo shirt, two sizes too small. I shot him a peeved look to let him know I was irritated over the unnecessary attention. “What?” I said.
He grabbed the bow from my hand and studied it. “This is nylon.”
“I know.”
“You’re first chair, Grace. Get a quality bow. Why are you using this crap?” A bit of his mustache stuck out over his top lip and wiggled as he spoke.
“I’m a member of PETA. I don’t use bows made with horse hair.”
I could see Tatiana’s body shaking with laughter in the chair in front of me.
Pornsake smirked. “Come on. Really?”
I huffed. “I’ll get a new bow this week.” I knew I couldn’t afford it, but he was right—nylon bows were crap.