I walked up the stairs slowly, my heart heavy.
When I stepped into my room, I immediately saw the dark clothing item lying at the end of my bed. I stopped, confused. I picked it up and then looked back over my shoulder nervously, then closed my door. I held up the hooded cloak and simply stared at it for a few minutes, biting my lip. I had seen the workers wearing cloaks like these in the evenings sometimes.
Was I meant to wear it? The hood would certainly hide me, especially if it was dark. Could I wear this and dare walk out among the workers? I felt exhilarated. Maya had left this for me. Had Calder sent it with her? I sucked in a breath. Maybe he wasn't mad at me. My heart picked up speed and I brought the cloak to my chest, holding it tightly as a slow smile spread over my face and I let out a small squeak.
The rest of the evening went by at a snail's pace as I waited for it to grow dark and for Hailey to go to bed.
Once the main lodge was mostly quiet and the night sky was deep and black, only the sliver of a new moon showing, I crept down the stairs and through the front door, closing it quietly behind me. Once I had made it around the main lodge, I put the cloak on, tucking all of my hair inside and pulling the hood low over my face. Then I walked briskly toward the worker cabins where several bonfires lit the night.
As I walked unnoticed for the first time since I'd come here, I took in all the sights and sounds around me. People sat around three main bonfires in the large, open area in the center of all the cabins. There was soft laughter and conversation and I heard small portions of stories people were telling as I walked past. I wished I had the nerve to sit right down with them and listen in, but I didn't want to risk anyone noticing me. Just walking around like I was—feeling free and anonymous—was thrilling. I took a deep breath of the cool, slightly smoky air.
At one of the bonfires, a man was singing softly, his voice deep and melodic as everyone around him sat quietly and listened. I stopped for just a second, lulled by the peaceful sound of his low voice, wishing I could play the piano while he sang. I felt the keys under my fingers, finding the notes that would accompany the melody he sang.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed me, and I almost let out a shriek as the person began walking and I was forced to move with him, stumbling slightly.
"Shh, it's me," I heard Calder's voice say. My heart soared. I'd know that voice anywhere. I'd know that voice in the midst of a thousand clanging symbols, or in the deep darkness of a never-ending cave. It moved inside me.
I let out a breath and picked up my pace. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see." I could see his gentle yet mischievous smile in the dim glow of a nearby fire and his beauty slammed into me. My heart flipped. I wanted to groan and raise my face to the gods, calling out, "Why? Why did you make him so beautiful to me if I can never have him? Why? Why? Why?"
Calder picked up the pace and soon we were running, the breeze blowing in our faces as I laughed out loud, feeling wild joy in the moment. My lips had been on his, and it would probably never happen again. But I had lived it, even if only just once, and if that was all I ever had, I would hold it dearly, deep inside where no one else could ever take it from me.
We stopped, our breaths coming out harshly as we stood in the darkness. I looked around and saw we were right on the edge of the fruit orchard.
"Why are we here?"
"Our lesson of the day. Come on." He took my hand in his again and we walked through the fragrant, moonlit trees. The perfumes of the earth—the soil, the grass, and the sweetly scented air—surrounded us. Calder's hand held mine—gripped me tightly—spreading warmth through my body.
This. This was Elysium—not some far-off, fathomless place. This.
When we got to a small clearing in the trees, Calder sat down on the grass and I followed him. He lay back and pointed up. "Look."
I lay back, too, and sucked in a breath when I saw the stars, clear and brilliant in the dark night sky, glittering above me. "They're so clear," I whispered.
I felt Calder nod next to me. "This is far enough away from the main lodge's electricity and far enough from our bonfires. Plus, it's a new moon . . ."
We lay in silence for a few minutes, looking up at the sky full of glowing stars. I cleared my throat. "You're going to teach me about the constellations?" I asked.
"Yeah. What I know, anyway."
I nodded, looking over at him. The starlight provided just enough light that I could see Calder, mostly in shadows and highlights, but enough to notice his expression.
"So . . . you're not feeling strange about yesterday?" I asked softly.
He paused and I held my breath. "You mean the kissing?" I heard the smile in his voice. "I've barely given it a thought."
I snorted. "Well, gosh, that makes me feel so much better."
Calder laughed, turning his face toward me. I turned my face toward his and we looked at each other. An amused expression was still on his face before he went serious. "Can I be honest with you, Eden?"
I groaned, looking back up at the sky. "This is going to get worse, isn't it?"
Calder chuckled. "No." He sighed and was quiet for a few beats. "In the course of a few days, life seems to have become complex. The simple part is this," I looked over at him, and he glanced down at my lips and then seemed to catch himself as his eyes darted back to mine. He cleared his throat. "If I were just a boy, and you were just a girl, I wouldn't kiss you once like you asked." He paused and my heart dropped. Oh.