“What the hell could watching a woman cry at her husband’s grave possibly make you feel?”
He stares me right in the eye. “A lot of things, actually. But envy, mostly.”
“Envy?” I repeat incredulously. “Of what?”
“Meaning that much to someone.”
I wasn’t expecting his answer at all, or his raw honesty. I cross my arms over my chest and stare at him. “I really have no reply for that. I’m sorry.”
“I lost someone too,” he says, looking down at the floor. “I meant what I said yesterday.” He looks back up and meets my eyes. His dark eyes are so full of pain. I wonder if mine look the same way. Is that what people see, when they look at me? “I can help you forget,” he continues. “To help the pain go away.”
“How?”
“Stay here with me. Give yourself to me for a month. Let go of everything … give me control of every part of you. Trust me, it will set you free of all this crap. It will help both of us.”
I back away from him, trying to understand what exactly he’s saying. “I don’t understand … give myself to you? What does that even mean?”
He closes the space between us, taking my hands in his. “Sometimes it’s better if you don’t understand it, and just let yourself feel it as it’s happening. Just let go; don’t think about it. I won’t hurt you. I promise I’ll take care of you and I’ll take it all the fuck away.”
I shake under the intensity of his stare, and his words that could mean a myriad of things. Scary things that happen in the dark. I’ve read about this sort of thing in romance books, and I remember thinking it was sorta scary but also sensually exciting. “Will it be … sexual?” I ask, my voice trembling. I lick my lips, my mouth suddenly dry.
“Yes, some of it. Sometimes I may gently tie you up, so you can’t touch me, and you’re at my mercy to touch, to make you feel, and all you can do is just lie there and enjoy it.” His eyes take on a spark as he describes what he wants. “Or I may command you to touch me, because sometimes it feels good to be told what to do. But more than that. It’s not just about sex. It’s much deeper than that. Much, much deeper.”
“And at the end of the month? Then what?”
“You’ll be stronger, and I will be too. Other than that, we’ll have to see. Neither one of us is in any frame of mind to think that far ahead.”
This isn’t what I was expecting.
I can go back home to the empty house, the loneliness, the overwhelming responsibility of everything, or I can stay here with this mysterious stranger and let him do whatever it is he wants to do that he thinks will help me. Nothing can get worse. I’ve already reached rock bottom with losing my husband, quitting my job, bills piling up, and contemplating suicide daily. Nothing matters to me anymore. This guy could murder me right now and I don’t think I would even care. Or he could fuck me again and make my mind sear into a hot frenzy, as he did last night, and make me forget everything for a little while with his insane body. Plus he has a stash of Valium somewhere in this house, which I can use to implement my original plan of going to sleep forever if this doesn’t go well.
“Alright. I’ll stay.”
Heat flashes in his eyes and he kisses my lips possessively, squeezing my hands tight in his, not letting go.
I return his kisses with equal fervor. Something about him has rattled me. Denying him anything seems like it would be impossible and I’m just too exhausted mentally and physically to question it or him. If he wants to take care of me and take me on some erotic emotional ride, why the hell not? If it changes my life, great. If it doesn’t, then at least I experienced something different and daring, and didn’t take the safe way out.
Vandal
The sight of her wearing my old, white T-shirt, her nipples straining against the thin fabric and the visible bite marks going down the side of her neck is enough to make me want to throw her on the kitchen table and fuck her brains out. Damn Evelyn for showing up here and disrupting our morning. All that matters now is that she agreed to stay. Being with her has ignited a fire in me that I thought was snuffed out a long time ago.
I lead her wordlessly down to the bathroom and undress her, then myself. I trace my finger down the scar that runs down her side. The skin is pink, jagged and new. She shoves my hand away, and I immediately place my hand back along her ribs.
“Don’t ever push me away.” I keep my voice low and even. “Tell me how this happened.”
“No.” Tears flow down her cheeks.
“You have to let me in if this is going to work.”
She leans back against the sink. “It’s from the accident my husband was killed in. We were hit by another car. I guess a piece of the car cut into me.” She looks down at the scar. “It’s ugly.”
I kneel in front of her and drag my tongue along the length of the scar that goes from her hip to the side of her breast, goose bumps raising on her flesh. I did this. This could have killed her. She can’t be more than a hundred pounds; I have no idea how she lived through the accident. I wish my baby had been as lucky.
“You’re beautiful,” I tell her, and it’s true. She’s got classic, almost old-fashioned beauty. Porcelain skin, big sky-blue eyes, natural blond hair. She’s actually very cute. Too cute to ever be with a guy like me.
“I’m not. Not at all,” she replies.
It’s always the most beautiful people who have no idea that they are.
We shower together, but she’s despondent as I caress her body with cream lavender soap. The hot water stings the deep scratches she made in my back last night, but I don’t care. I’ll take any pain I can from her because I deserve it as much as I want it.
“Does your little plan include me having any clothes? And what about my car?” She finally speaks when we step out of the shower.
I take one of the towels we just dried off with and fold it into a nice, neat square, placing it on the floor in front of me.
“I’ll get you some clothes and take care of your car. Kneel.”
“How are you going to take care of my car, exactly?”
“I’ll have it towed to your house. Is there anything else that needs to be taken care of, like, at your house? You have any pets, or any shit like that?”
“No, I don’t have any shit like that. But I’ll call my neighbor and tell her I’m going to be gone; she can keep an eye on my place.”
I nod and point to the towel. “Kneel.”
She looks at me quizzically. “Why do you keep saying that?” She reaches for her clothes, but I take them away from her. “No. Kneel down on the towel for me.”
“You’re serious?”
“Very.”
She kneels down, naked, and looks up at me. My cock immediately stiffens, and she’s trying to look at anything except my dick.
“Why am I down here?” she asks.
I can’t help but smile at her because her innocence is very different from what I’m used to. It’s turning me on way more than the experienced subs and sluts I’ve been with.
“To suck me.” I brush her wet hair away from her face and watch her reaction, which is priceless. Her eyes literally bug out. She shakes her head and her mouth falls open, which only furthers my desire for her.
“I don’t do that.” She bends her leg and pushes up to stand, but I gently put my hand on the top of her head and hold her down.
“You will.”
She looks at me defiantly, knocks my hand away and stands up. “And if I don’t?”
Ah. She wants to play. I expected this, though, and I know exactly how to handle her.
I shrug and wrap a towel around my waist. “I won’t force you.”
I walk out of the bathroom and leave her there, hoping she’ll react as I think she will. She’s going to need some firm guidance, but I can’t push her too hard since she’s mentally fragile right now. I go to the living room, sit on the couch and flick on the television. Sterling jumps next to me and I pet him absently as I wait for her to come out, which takes about five minutes. She stands in the archway of the room and watches me for a few minutes, a towel wrapped around her.
“You’re going to ignore me now?” she finally says.
Yes.
I say nothing and continue to scroll through the channels.
“Hello?”
I don’t even look at her. A few more minutes pass until she comes and stands in front of me. I look right past her at the television.
Finally, she kneels and puts her hands on my thighs. I turn the TV off, throw the remote to the side and turn to give her my full attention, unwrapping the towel from my waist. I spread my legs and she moves between them. The defiance I saw in her eyes earlier has been replaced with something between desire and anger, but that’s normal. Learning to read her body language, eyes, tone of voice, and mannerisms is going to be my focus for the next few days.
I take my cock in my hand and pump it slowly as she watches in fascination. Her lips part slightly as she stares and her hands grip my thighs. I’m torn between jerking off while she watches me and wanting her to suck me. Decisions, decisions.
She surprises me by putting her small hand over mine, both of our hands fisting my rock-hard cock. She watches us move together and then lowers her head onto me, her lips coming down over the slick head, her tongue swirling around my fingers. A long sigh escapes me and I pull my hand away as her mouth moves further down, taking me deeper. Fuck.
I lean my head back against the couch and close my eyes, loving the feel of her mouth on me. Her pussy and her mouth are both exquisite, and just from the little bit I’ve had of her so far, I’m not sure how I’m going to let her go in a month.
I’ve always gravitated to slutty girls with loud voices, trashy pasts and zero morals. They are willing to do anything I tell them to, not caring if it’s going to hurt or humiliate them. Deep down, they just want attention, so they let me use them. Tabi isn’t like that. She’s sweet, classy and thoughtful. Getting her to do slutty things just for me is a turn on. I like corrupting her innocence, and then seeing it renew itself so I can do it all over again.