I blinked up at him, my eyes still searching his. There were so many things I was unsure about, but the electricity buzzing between us wasn’t one of them.
Leaning forward, Nolan brought his lips to mine and waited, as if to give me a chance to decide. His warm breath ghosted over my mouth.
Accepting his invitation, I stood on tiptoe and touched my lips to his. With one hand still stroking my jaw, his other came to settle against my hip, his thumb running along the bare skin at the waistband of my jeans. He pulled my body close, until I felt the hard ridge of him against my belly. He felt massive. My lips parted in a silent gasp and he stroked his tongue against mine.
Our mouths seemed made to fit together. And the skillful way he moved his tongue provoked thoughts of how else he could use that tongue. My panties grew wet and my breathing ragged as we kissed.
My hands wandered, running over his firm biceps and down the front of his shirt, where rounded pecs waited invitingly.
Sex rolled off of him in waves. No, not just sex. Fucking. I was sure that being intimate with Nolan would be unlike any other experience I’d had. And that excited the hell out of me. Maybe there was something about its forbidden nature that appealed to me too. He’d already been claimed by another woman, and I hated that I saw that as a challenge—but damn, I did. And I wanted to rise to the occasion.
“Sweet Jesus, woman,” he murmured, breaking away from my lips.
I couldn’t disagree. Everything about that kiss felt right. Backgrounds ceased to matter. Messy entanglements forgotten. When I was kissing Nolan, nothing mattered except getting even closer. More, my body begged. For such a strong and intense man, I hadn’t counted on the sweet way he was with me, the deep, yet soft kisses and tender touches. He made me feel safe, and to me, there was no better feeling in the world.
“Just keep an open mind,” he said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
With my lips tingling and the taste of whiskey on my tongue, I gave him a small nod. “I will.”
“Come on. Let’s go catch the rest of the game.”
“Okay.” I nodded again.
Nolan brushed his lips against mine one last time. “We’ll take this at whatever pace you need, okay?”
The sincerity in his eyes, his voice, made it impossible to disagree with him.
• • •
After getting home from Nolan’s, my lonely little apartment felt too quiet, so I called my younger sister just to hear her voice. Brynn was away at college but we had remained close, talking on the phone or texting a couple of times a week. At least, until I’d lit out to Texas.
“Lacey, where are you?” Brynn cried before I could even say hello. “Everything that’s happened . . . Troy . . .” She didn’t finish her thought, and she didn’t have to.
“I know. I’m safe. And for once in my life, I might even find something that makes me happy.” Brynn knew all too well that my life so far had revolved around making other people happy.
“You’re not going to do anything crazy, are you?”
I couldn’t help the chuckle that pushed past my lips. I thought of Nolan and all the reasons why I shouldn’t pursue him. And there were many.
“Define crazy.” I pushed my hair off my face and flopped down on the couch. Quitting my job on a whim and not telling my sister I was leaving until I was already gone? Yeah, it was a touch insane.
“Damn it, Lacey. We were raised by a drill sergeant of a father, and you never once stepped out of line. Then shit went down with Troy, and now you’re gone. What am I supposed to think?”
Letting out a heavy sigh, I considered telling Brynn exactly where I was and what I was up to. Then I quickly decided against it. The less she knows, the better off she’ll be.
“I’ve met someone.” I didn’t mean to blurt it, but there it was, hanging in the silence between us.
“Ah. So that’s what’s been taking up all your time.” Her tone turned light, playfully mocking.
Regret churned inside me. Part of me wanted to confide in my sister, you know, for when all of this went tits-up and I needed someone to fall back on. But what would I say? Oh yes, he’s tall, dark, handsome, and he has a live-in lover. No, that wouldn’t fly.
“Well, that was . . . fast,” Brynn said.
As soon as the words left her mouth, I felt them like a sting across my cheek.
“Sorry,” she added after a long pause. “That was probably harsh.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, forcing a lighthearted tone. “I have to go. We’ll talk soon.” I tapped END on my phone’s screen.
Somehow I doubted Brynn would understand my new life in Texas, my job at the animal shelter, and certainly not my motivation for a relationship with a sexy-as-sin ex-SEAL. But how could I expect anyone else to understand it when I didn’t understand myself?
Rising from the couch, I tossed my phone onto the mountain of purple silk throw pillows I’d collected. Lavender. Violet. Lilac. Plum.
I felt restless and edgy, but didn’t know what to do about it.
Sometimes I let myself think about Troy. Allowed my mind to drift back to happier times. The way he’d play with my hair and tell me I was his girl. Our Friday-night tradition that went without saying. Baking homemade pizzas that my unreliable oven always burned on the edges, then scrambling onto the couch, because whoever got the remote first controlled which movie we’d watch.
We had a quiet and comfortable relationship until things went and turned insane. And now here I was, running from a past I didn’t even understand.