Asshole delivered it with a load of innuendo. None of his disappointment from last night came through. He was back to being my big brother who thought it was his job to give me shit.
Grace cupped her hand over her mouth like she was trying to hold back a laugh, and Thomas was looking on with overt fascination. Didn’t even want to consider whether he might be able to pick up on any of this. The kid was so smart and intuitive and protective.
If I wasn’t careful, he’d probably kick my ass and with good reason.
Hell, I kind of wanted to kick my own ass.
“Jace,” Faith chastised softly, barely heard over the music as she angled her head.
Jace shrugged. “What?”
Faith glanced at Grace and then back at him. “We have guests.”
Grace waved her off with the spatula that was in her hand. “It’s fine. I only wished I had a brother or sister to give me a hard time.”
“And sometimes I wish I didn’t have one,” I grumbled under my breath.
Jace laughed, not offended for a second. “Ha. You’d be flipping burgers if it wasn’t for me.”
If only that were the case.
Jace believed he’d gotten out of prison and worked his ass off to give me my dream.
For years, I’d lied to my brother.
Told him I was just a smart fucker who kept getting scholarships and grants.
In reality, it’d been Bennet who’d funded most of my college.
At the time, I’d believed I was taking a load off my brother but, really, I’d only been digging myself a deep grave. Looking back, I wondered if it wouldn’t be better if my ass wasn’t still working some pathetic, bottom-of-the-barrel job.
At least it’d be honest.
My gaze moved to Grace, who watched me with soft affection, like she wasn’t standing right in the middle of a raging storm.
Trying to brave the surge.
Keep her head above water.
My chest tightened.
No.
I wouldn’t take any of it back. Not for a second. Helping her family might be the only truly honest thing I’d ever done. Didn’t matter what it cost me. It’d be worth it.
Everything about Grace softened, and she looked at me standing there in all my discomfort like I might be the best thing she’d ever seen.
Like I was better.
Different.
Her genuine gaze traveled to my brother, words nothing but adoration. “Thank God you helped Ian become who he is today. I’m not sure what we would do without him.”
“We kind of like him,” Faith said, affection in her voice.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt like such a fucking imposter.
Didn’t these people know me at all?
I wasn’t a good guy.
And there I was, in their house, acting like I could be. Like I was someone else.
Never was there more proof of that than when Sophie was suddenly at my feet, her little hands tugging at my sleep pants, the child all toothy grins and white pigtails when she looked at me. “Ian. Up. Up!”
Unease sloshed through my veins. God damn it. But there I was, reaching down and picking her up.
Excited, she smacked at my cheeks with both her hands, trying to get my attention when the only thing I could focus on was the feel of the child in my arms.
“Hi!” she squealed, smacking my face more, her eyes searching mine, like she was trying to climb right inside.
Didn’t think any of this had fully hit me until right then. What was truly riding on me not fucking this up.
These were Grace’s babies.
The beat of her heart and the reason of her being.
Fear clamored through my senses, and I was suddenly having a bitch of a time breathing.
She shifted in my hold and pointed at Grace. “Mommy make pancakes!”
I choked down the overwhelming emotion that thrashed and spun and proceeded to force out the words. “Is your mommy making pancakes?”
Could feel everything constricting. Pressure rising.
I couldn’t fail them. Couldn’t. I had no idea where that would leave me if I did.
Sophie nodded emphatically, still pointing at her mother. “Ian want?”
Yeah, Ian wanted. So goddamned bad.
But Ian couldn’t have.
I kept having to remind myself of that shit.
Grace let loose a soft giggle. “I hope so because I’m pretty sure there is enough food here to feed an army.”
I moved that way, not even able to stop myself from edging up behind her. I was still holding her kid as I looked over her shoulder.
A selfish asshole could get used to this shit.
My voice lowered, and I breathed that energy in, letting it sustain me, knowing we were undoubtedly going to need that army she was about to feed. “Did you sleep okay last night?”
She peeked up at me. Blue eyes fathomless. Rays of sunlight streaking through to touch the bottom of the deepest sea.
Chaos had struck up in the kitchen again when Mallory called to Faith, “Turn it up, Auntie Faith! This one is my favorite, favorite!”
Surprise, surprise, The Spice Girls.
But what really tilted the floor to the side was the fact the kid was calling my sister-in-law Auntie.
She and Bailey were back to dancing with my brother, and Faith laughed her encouragement as she helped Thomas make another batch of pancake batter.
Still, Grace’s voice left her on a whisper, like it was meant only for the two of us.
Well, the two of us and Sophie who’d fully wrapped her little arms around my neck.
“I don’t think I’ve slept so well for as long as I can remember. Thanks to you. Thanks to your family. You’re right, they’re the best people I could ever meet.”
I’d started to sway.
That’s the way whirlwinds were. You were caught up and spinning and getting tossed into a realm you’d never expected before you had the chance to prepare yourself. To stop it.
Just like right then.
Because I let my nose drop to the delicious slope of Grace’s neck.
I inhaled.
Sweet, juicy plum that I’d come to realize was just an overflow of her heart.
I wanted to suck it down and keep it forever.
She took in a sharp breath before she leaned back into me.
Flesh searing into mine.
I wanted to wrap my arm around her waist and hold her there. But that was just foolishness.
I forced myself to take a step back. That was when I noticed Jace watching us from across the room. I thought he might smirk. Rub it in that he was right again. Instead, he sent me a sympathetic smile.
Like he got that, no matter how this turned out, it couldn’t turn out in my favor.
One way or another, I was going to lose, and I was pretty sure that was going to hurt worse than anything else had in all my life.
Thirty-Three
Grace
“You love him?”
Faith’s soft voice broke into my thoughts where I was sitting on the porch. I was watching my children play on the back lawn with Ian and his brother and his sweet little girl, Bailey, this family so wonderful I was having a hard time processing all the emotions threading through the middle of me.
Stitching and binding.
I glanced over at her. The gorgeous woman was holding a bouquet of fresh-cut roses that she’d harvested from the rose garden off to the side of her magnificent house.
Everything about her screamed beauty.
Her face and her home and her spirit.
While mine swam with turmoil. I tried to swallow around the surge of it that was threatening to wash me away, and I cast her a weary smile. “I’m trying not to.”
She grimaced and came to sit on a chair next to me. “Not so easy to tell love what to do, is it?”
A weak sigh blew from my lungs. “No, not so much.”
Rambunctious laughter rolled through the cool air, and Ian chased after Thomas, who was running with all his might, Ian just barely missing him as he reached out to tag my son.
It seemed crazy that just last night Ian had swept into my home. A dark savior. Today, it felt so much that way.
As if we’d been rescued.
Lifted directly out of the storm.
“Ah, man, Thomas, you’re way too fast for me!” Ian hollered, his smile freer in that moment than I’d ever seen him wear.
My chest stretched tight.
Squeezing and binding.