Not at all.
Risking being responsible for life. Bringing more of it into this vile, vile world.
My heart skipped a nervous beat when he angled his phone a little so I could get a full view of my nephew.
Benton.
Tiny, scrawny legs flailing.
Jace chuckled a self-deprecating sound. “Things are perfect in the land of madness.”
“Looks like it.”
Jace bounced his baby boy. “He’s just screaming, demanding his mother, who handed him over so she could get a shower. Five minutes, and the kid is having withdrawals. What can I say? My boy has good taste. I fully understand his pain.”
I shook my head, a tease winding to my lips. “Never thought I’d see the day when my badass big brother handed over his balls. That’s gotta hurt.”
“Pssh . . . you just wish you were man enough to handle all of this. You’re just jealous you’re missing out on the good things in life.”
“Uh, yeah, no, but thank you. I’ll leave all the manning up to you. Monogamy is for the brave. Or the weak. However you want to look at it. All I know is I want no part in it.”
He laughed. “You just haven’t found a reason to take part.”
My lips twitched up at the side. “I’ll just keep enjoying the hunt.”
“You goin’ huntin’, Uncle Ian? My daddy told my mama you nofin’ but a dog.” All of a sudden, Bailey was right there, jumping up and trying to get in front of the camera. My heart gave another one of those pangs when I saw her adorable face, all the while hoping her innocent ears hadn’t been privy to me busting my brother’s balls.
Kids were on my no-go list.
Out of fucking bounds.
But goddamn it if that little girl hadn’t wound her way right into that dark, dark place inside me, a flash of light and warmth skating through my senses every time she was in my space.
Which kind of scared the fuck out of me.
I wasn’t joking when I said my brother was brave. Being a parent had to be about the scariest shit a person could endure.
I turned my attention to my brother, who was wearing the damned smuggest grin I’d ever seen, brows lifting for the sky. “Dog, huh?”
“What?” he defended with a chuckle.
“I wike dogs,” Bailey sang in her cute little drawl, like she was confused by the irritation in my voice and I should have taken the dig as a compliment.
“Well, that’s good because I like you, too,” I told her, sucked in a little deeper.
“See, Daddy. Uncle Ian is a good dog.” She was looking up at her dad, smiling a wide smile, like she was hoping to convince him of it.
My eyes met Jace’s. “You’re in so much trouble when I see you, brother.” I let brother linger like a dirty word.
The guy had the audacity to laugh. “What, are you going to deny it now?”
“No. I just didn’t know my lifestyle was a topic of conversation in your house.”
“What? We worry about you.” His voice lost some of the amusement. “Want the best in life for you. Everyone deserves that.”
The number of times he’d taken me aside to talk with me about what I was doing, how I was living, had grown exponentially since he’d permanently moved back to South Carolina. Like I was still that pathetic kid he had to protect and feed and go to bat for.
I pushed out a sigh. “There’s nothing to worry about. Life is as good as it’s going to get. Better than ever. I have an awesome pad I know even you are jealous of. I’m about to make partner. Have a corner office to die for and a bank account overflowing with zeros. What more could I ask for?”
“Money doesn’t buy happiness,” Jace said.
“You sure about that?”
He glanced down at his kids. “Positive.”
“Money buys all the dolls, Uncle, but yous got to do chores first.” This from Bailey, grinning again with a mouthful of teeth.
The kid pulled a soft roll of affectionate laughter right out of my chest. Kind of wanted to scoop her up and squeeze her for interrupting the direction my brother was heading. “You need more dolls? Don’t you already have a room full of them?”
“A girl can never has too many dolls. Just like mommies can never has too many shoes.” She was looking at me like she was worried I didn’t know anything and she was affording me some worldly wisdom that I was lacking.
Apparently so.
“Well, then, I’ll have to keep that in mind. Someone’s birthday is coming up fast.”
“Mine!” she screeched, pure unadulterated excitement. God, the kid was cute.
Her little brother kicked and let go of a shrill cry so loud I didn’t know how it didn’t bring down the walls of their old house.
His little legs thrashing.
His foot caught Bailey on the shoulder.
Another kid would cry.
But Bailey?
She laughed this laugh that was nothing but love, reaching out and grabbing him by the foot, swinging it around a bit. “Dids you see that, Uncle Ian? My brover just kicked me with his wittle toes. He’s so cute. Do you think he’s cute? I got the best brover in the world.”
“Yeah, I definitely think he’s cute.”
The two of them were about as cute as I could stand. Too cute. Too sweet. Too innocent.
I scrubbed an uneasy palm over my face, pulling myself back before she had me hooked any deeper. Wrapped tighter around her little finger. I turned my attention back to Jace, who was watching me like he knew exactly what I was thinking.
He just didn’t know how deep and ugly and depraved it got.
It was the one thing I’d never let him in on. What I’d done.
He’d hate me if he did.
Apparently, he had witnessed me spiral because he cleared his throat, snapping me back to the here and now. Shifting Benton, he bounced him more, trying to keep him happy. “Listen, I actually called for a reason. I need you to do me a favor.”
“Anything.”
That was something he could count on.
“There’s a building that’s going up for auction downtown. Faith has her hands full today, so I want to stick around. Do you think you could go down and check it out for me this afternoon? Take a couple of pictures and send them over?”
“No problem. Text me the address. I’ll go by. I was actually getting ready to head out.”
I had one stop to make beforehand.
“That’d be great. I’d really appreciate it.” His tone shifted, a quiet, prodding push. “And if you want in, this one would be a good opportunity.”
I sighed. I knew Jace somehow thought he was helping me out. Inviting me in.
But he’d taken care of me my whole life.
Neither him nor anyone else would be responsible for my success. That was on me.
“Nah, man. I have enough going on here to keep me busy for the next fifty-two years.”
“You know the offer stands . . . if and when that ever changes.”
“Thanks.” I straightened, flipped the file on my desk shut because there was no chance I was getting back to that shit, and started to gather my things. “I’ll text you as soon as I go by.”
“Bye, Uncle Ian!” Bailey sang.
“Bye, Button.”
I ended the call, sighed, patted my pocket for that damned wallet and bracelet.
Felt a sizzle burn through my blood, tried to tamp it, keep it contained.
It doesn’t matter.
I strode out my office door, intent on scraping her from where she’d managed to get under my skin. Slithering in and curling up without my permission.
Making me worry.
Worrying about a stranger was one thing I couldn’t do.
No matter how fucking sexy she was.
No matter how badly I’d wanted to carve out a place for myself between her thighs.
That’s all that it was. That was all that it was ever gonna be.
For once in my life, I was going to do something nice, something that didn’t require payment or retribution or a favor, and then I was going to let her be.
I rode the elevator down to the busy street. Crowds battled to get from one place to the next, the sidewalk always a clusterfuck of chaos in the late afternoon.
I headed in the direction of the address listed on the business card I’d found in the wallet, ignoring her driver’s license, figuring checking out the info on that would be stepping out of bounds.