“That was awesome,” he said. “It’s way hotter out here than I thought it would be.”
“Yeah, I should have grabbed you a hat.”
“What, like a cowboy hat?”
“No, a baseball cap.” I laughed. “This isn’t Texas, Nate.”
“Trish wears a cowboy hat.”
“She’s a rodeo queen.” I didn’t bother mentioning that Jake wore both baseball caps and cowboy hats and that it kind of depended on what he was doing. Just thinking back to him in his black Stetson on the night we met felt like a knife slicing through my heart.
“Weren’t you?”
“No, I’m from California,” I said simply and then began leading Dancer down the hill.
“Oh. I didn’t know. Wait, we’re taking the horses down that hill?”
“Four legs are better than two,” I yelled back to him.
“Good point,” he said as Tequila picked her way down the bank.
At the bottom, we let the horses drink from the stream before tying them up. Nate continuously ran his hand through his windblown hair. There was no product in his hair that morning like there was the day before. The loose, tousled strands gave his look a more youthful charm. I had never met a doctor who resembled a real, flawed person with insecurities, but more than that, I had never met a doctor who was so terribly good-looking and didn’t know it.
Without speaking, we drew our lines through the poles and dug around in the saddlebags for various things. We took our shoes off, rolled up our jeans, and stepped carefully over the pebbles to the edge of the stream water.
“So you’re from California? Which part?”
“The Central Valley.” I sat on a rock to tie my lure.
“Allow me.” Nate reached out. I handed over my line and lure.
His deft hands tied the lure on the line with speed and accuracy. “What kind of doctor are you?”
“I’m a heart surgeon,” he said, smirking. I smiled too, probably sharing the same thought as he tied up the heart-shaped lure.
“Well done.”
I cast my line into the deeper part of the stream and reeled it in slowly.
“Do you know how to fly-fish?” he asked.
“You have to be quiet, Nate, you’re going to scare the fish away. And yes, I know how.”
“Okay. I just thought maybe you could show me,” he said. “It’s been a while.”
He was adorable. I couldn’t help letting a smile touch my lips.
“Just hold the line with your index finger, turn the bail arm, pull back, and release the line at the peak of the pole’s arc. Aim for that deeper water there,” I said, gesturing toward where my line had landed.
He cast and immediately got a bite but lost it.
“You need to jerk back when you feel a sure tug, that’s how you set the hook,” I said to him.
“That’s right. It’s all coming back to me,” he said with a smile.
The carefree look Nate wore reminded me of a feeling I used to know but had been absent for so long. It was the first time in a long time that I wished for that feeling back.
CHAPTER 6
Hearts in Nature
Nathanial
At midday the score was Ava: six, me: zero. I love a woman who challenges me but Ava was beating me to a pulp, which I think was even more refreshing. The fish weren’t biting anymore so Ava handed me a sandwich from her saddlebag.
I opened the foil. “Peanut butter and jelly. I like it.”
Her smile was shy. “I don’t have much in my cabin.”
We sat on rocks under the shade of a tree near the stream and ate. The day was unusually warm for spring. Ava wore faded, tight jeans rolled up and a beige cotton blouse with short lace sleeves. When she leaned over I could see the swells of her breasts¸ glistening from sweat. Her skin was a warm, natural tone.
“Why did you move here from California?” I asked.
She glanced up, looking conflicted. “Nate . . .” I could tell from her expression that she wanted to tell me things but couldn’t find the words. She looked back down at her feet. I remembered our rule of no talking.
I stopped chewing and swallowed while I stared at the side of her face intensely. “Take down your hair, Ava,” I said in a purposeful tone. Something came over me suddenly and I felt the need to touch her, like my body was moving of its own accord.
Facing her on the rock, I watched as she kept her gaze straight ahead and slowly slipped the tie from her ponytail. Her long, straight hair fell cleanly down her shoulders. I reached and grabbed her by the side of the neck and pulled her toward me. She didn’t resist but didn’t face me either. I leaned into her hair and inhaled so deeply I felt drowsy. I was shocked by how drawn I felt to touching her and equally shocked that she had obeyed me and submitted to my touch.
It was like there was a force beyond me creating the involuntary movements of my hands on her body. She smelled of sweet alyssum like no one I had ever known, so sweet and natural only God could create it—a reminder of salvation in the secular age we were living in.
I wanted to rub her skin against mine. I glanced down her shirt and wondered if her sweat tasted as sweet as she smelled. I wanted to be inside of her. I was impossibly close to telling her to take her clothes off. Somehow I knew she would do it if I asked. It seemed like she was that directionless at times. It was as though her mind was a pinwheel endlessly spinning on a TV screen, and she was waiting for someone to come along and change the channel. She seemed lost and fragile one minute and then sharp and callous the next. I knew I couldn’t take advantage of someone like Ava, even though in the moment I was one hundred percent sure she wanted to escape it all with me.