Courtney knocks on the door. “Halston, you okay?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Almost done. Just … touching up my makeup.”
I need a distraction, something to soothe my nerves, so I retrieve my phone and pull up one of the many time-wasting websites I have bookmarked. I’m halfway through the front page of BuzzFeed when I get a notification from Karma.
Kerouac: What happened yesterday? Everything okay?
Kerouac: Also, can I just say, holy fucking shit, you’re beautiful.
Shaking my head, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. No one’s ever called me beautiful before. Pretty? Yeah. Sexy? All the time. But beautiful? Never.
I so badly wish Kerouac was real.
Absinthe: Wish I could say the same about you, but you decided to use a stock photo as your profile pic. That’s cheating, Kerouac. Not fair.
Kerouac: In my defense, the stock photo guy looks a lot like me … if you squint. We share a lot of the same features.
Absinthe: You expect me to believe you now? After you pulled that stunt? I should block you.
Kerouac: Don’t block me. I’m sorry. I wish I could show you my face, but I’m not in a position to risk that right now. I’m starting a new job soon. A public sector job. I can’t be that guy hooking up with random women on dating apps.
Absinthe: But you are that guy. That’s exactly what you’re doing.
Kerouac: We’re just chatting. I’m not going to hook up with you.
Absinthe: We had chat sex. Did you forget about the chat sex?
Kerouac: Again, that’s not hooking up.
Absinthe: I have to go.
Kerouac: Chat later?
Absinthe: Maybe. Still mad at you.
I turn my phone off and give myself one last look in the mirror. My full lips are slicked in fuck-me red. My tits are pushed up to my chin thanks to the standard issue push-up bra Todd assigns to his wait staff, and the little skirt I’m wearing barely covers my ass cheeks, but I’m doing this.
Yanking the door open, I catch Courtney off guard.
“There you are,” she says, her mouth pulling wide. “I was beginning to think you were having second thoughts. Happens all the time.”
She loops her arm around mine and pulls me to the bar. It’s barely eleven and the place is already beginning to fill. Climbing on a stool, she stands on the bar before motioning for me to join her, and the bartender hands her a megaphone.
Oh, god.
What have I gotten myself into?
I take my place at Courtney’s side as she lifts the loudspeaker to her mouth. “Heyyyy, guys! We have a new server starting today! Let’s give a warm Big Boulders welcome to Halston!”
All eyes land on me, men hooting and hollering and clapping and grinning.
It’s a feeding frenzy, and I’m dessert.
We climb down a second later, and she pulls me to a little galley just off the kitchen, handing me a pen and notepad along with an apron.
“You won’t need those today since you’re shadowing me, but those are yours to keep. You can put them in your locker or you can wear them.” She ties her apron around her tiny waist, her grin falling. “What’s wrong? You look scared?”
I shake my head. “I’m fine.”
“You’re going to make so much fucking money here, Halston. I promise you. When you count your tips at the end of the night, you won’t even remember the guy at table five that slapped your ass earlier.”
“That happens?” I ask. “Todd said the customers aren’t allowed to touch us.”
Her eyes grow round. “They’re not. But it doesn’t stop them from trying.”
“Do you get them thrown out?”
She waves her hand, pressing her lips flat. “If we did that to every customer who slapped our asses or brushed their arms against our boobs or whatever, we’d be out of business. None of them would come back.”
I think I’m going to be sick.
“Oh, hey. First table’s ready. Come on.” She motions for me to follow her, and we head toward a half-moon shaped booth in the far corner where four men in business suits order beers, wings, and cheeseburgers.
They’re nice.
And this isn’t so bad.
They look at us, but they don’t make it obvious. Three of them have wedding bands on.
The hostess tells Courtney we have two more tables, and she asks if I’d be comfortable taking drink orders from one of them.
“The longer they have to wait, the lower your tip will be,” she tells me.
Nodding, I make my way toward a table with an older gentleman with lonely eyes and a Ron Jon t-shirt.
“Hi, sir,” I say. “I’m Halston. I’ll be taking care of you today. Can I get you started with something to drink?”
This reminds me of playing restaurant as a kid.
Piece of cake.
“Dr. Pepper, no ice,” he says. “Then a stack of onion rings and a cowboy burger, no pickles.”
Oh.
Scrambling to grab my pad and pen, I jot everything down before it leaves my memory, and then I repeat it back to him. When I glance up, his eyes are on my breasts.
“You’re new here,” he says, his gaze still below sea level.
“I am. It’s my first day.” I force a smile. “Go easy on me.”
I’m teasing, but he doesn’t laugh.
“Let me go put in your order and grab your drink,” I say, trotting away from him.
I find Courtney in the galley where she’s frantically scooping ice and filling cups.
“He gave me his order. What do I do now?” I ask.
“Put it on the line,” she says, pointing back toward the kitchen. “Left is newest, right is oldest. Put it on the left. The cooks will take it from there.”
“How do I know when the food is ready?”
“They’ll slide your ticket down. Food will be under the warmers,” she says. “Just check back here every so often. We don’t like to keep customers waiting longer than ten minutes. If it’s been longer than that, check with the kitchen to see what the holdup is.”
She carries a tray of drinks to the second table before retrieving the beers from the bar for the first one, and I fill the lonely guy’s Dr. Pepper. With ice.
Shit.
Dumping it out, I pour another one without ice, and take it to him.
“Here you go, sir.” I place it on a napkin in front of him.
“Where’s my straw?” he asks.
“Completely forgot. I’m so sorry.” I begin to run back when he stops me, placing his hand around my wrist.
“It’s a good thing you’re pretty,” he says.
“Excuse me?”
“You’ve got looks but not brains. I can tell. It’s a good thing you’re pretty.”
I’m speechless, utterly speechless. And while I’d love nothing more than to rip this saggy-balled geezer a new one, it’s probably not the best idea with this being my first day on the job and all.
He releases his hand from my wrist, letting it fall down the side of my hip, grazing the outside of my ass.
Completely intentional.
Returning to the galley for a straw, my body burns, my skin on fire. That sorry excuse for a man made me feel less than human all in the span of a handful of seconds, but I’m too pissed off to cry about it.
Glancing around, I wonder what the chances are that I could spit in his food and no one would notice?
I drop the straw off at his table in passing, not stopping. I just toss it toward him. When his appetizer comes out a few minutes later, I ask a food runner to handle it for me. When he leaves, he tips me two dollars on a twenty-five-dollar check.
Eight percent.
“You okay?” Courtney rubs my back when she sees me examining the man’s signed receipt. “Did he stiff you?”
I don’t want to talk about it.
“The good tippers will more than make up for the bad tippers, I promise,” she says. “Stick with it. It’s going to get better.”
I give her a close-lipped smile.
“On a good note, you did your first table all by yourself, and you did wonderfully,” she says. “You might not even need to shadow me!”
Not like this job is rocket science …