I did want that. I wanted to define what we were, have a T-shirt made with the definition, and wear it every single day to school. But I was terrified if I admitted that to Dalton, he’d go away, and whatever this was between us would stop. And kissing Dalton Thomas had become the brightest part of my darkest days. I wasn’t ready for it to end, whatever this was.
“I don’t know,” I said, then my mouth betrayed my brain. “No. I guess we don’t have to.”
“I like kissing you.” He spoke the words so sweetly that I not only believed them, but I would have bought whatever he was selling.
“I like kissing you too.”
“Then don’t stop.” His mouth covered mine as my hands slid up his neck and tangled in his hair.
• • •
Seeing Dalton, the one thing I came here for, had thrown me. I thought I was ready to face him, our history, and the way he had once made me feel so much after not feeling anything at all, but he rattled me.
It had been ten years, for crying out loud, but right now it felt as if no time had passed. Nothing I told myself could have prepared me for what it felt like to see him in real life. Up until this point, the idea of seeing Dalton again had been just that—an idea, a notion, a fantasy.
To have him standing in the same room as me, breathing the same air, it was overwhelming. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I had no clue what that was anymore. All rational thoughts flew out the window the second he entered the room. Kristy had mentioned closure, but that was the furthest thing from my mind. Right now all I wanted was the opposite of closure, whatever the hell that was.
When I opened my eyes, I stared at my reflection, surprised. My makeup and hair still looked flawless. For whatever reason, I’d half expected my outside to be just as frazzled as my insides.
The restroom door burst open as Kristy entered. “Are you okay?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Just trying to get it together.” I forced a smile. “Please tell me I’m not pathetic. I just saw him and got all emotional. Please tell me I’m not being stupid and weak and dumb.”
“You’re not. Cammie, the way he was there for you after your dad . . .”
Kristy paused and didn’t finish her sentence. It was a subject I rarely talked about, and she knew better than to get into details about my father unless she wanted me to lose it completely in this hotel bathroom.
“He’s linked to you forever because of that,” she said. “There are emotional ties between the two of you that will always be there. That’s why you’ve never been able to truly let him go. Not that I blame you.”
I nodded in agreement as I stared at myself in the mirror and willed myself not to cry. “I do feel connected to him. Even after all this time, it’s like nothing’s changed.”
“He’s always been the one guy you never truly got over. I think we all get one of those. Some of us meet him in college or at our first real job. But you met yours in high school. It is what it is.” She shrugged, spouting off this knowledge as if she were an expert at love. “Now get it together and let’s get back out there. I swear he was looking for you.”
I waved her off. “I doubt it was me, but I’ll be out in a second. Just go. Please.”
My best friend stared at me for a moment, indecision making her frown. Thankfully she had matured since high school—barely—and she made the right choice, leaving me in the bathroom alone.
I could do this. I was no longer a seventeen-year-old girl; I was a grown woman, for Pete’s sake. A grown woman who could handle facing her past and the one guy connected to it.
Once my pep talk ended, I sucked in a long, deep breath and flung open the bathroom door. I took my time as I walked back into the dimly lit room and toward my table. Dalton was still surrounded by a crowd of fans. It was like I was back in high school all over again, watching him from afar as he stood there, adored by everyone in his proximity.
Part of me wanted to walk right up to him and break this spell, but the other part of me refused to move. As immature a notion as it was, I wanted Dalton to come to me, to chase me, to choose me.
He smiled at someone, and even though I was sitting down, my knees trembled under the table.
“He looks really good,” Kristy whispered while I continued to stare, searching his left hand for any sign of a ring in the darkness.
“I noticed,” I said before forcing myself to look away.
“Oh Lord,” Kristy whispered. “The eagle has landed. Crash landed. Hard landing.”
Where Did She Go
Dalton
I scanned the room for her, feeling desperate, out of control, and needy. When I didn’t see her anywhere, I almost lost my shit and demanded that someone turn the damn lights on full blast so I could actually see.
People wouldn’t leave my side as they greeted me, annoying me by saying how great it was to see me and asking a million and a half questions that could wait for some other time. When I finally spotted Kristy but no Cammie, my heart sank to the pit of my stomach.
No.
She had to be here; she said she was coming. But what if I was too late? What if she had already left? Just as I was about to kick my own ass, Cammie rushed over to Kristy’s table, looking upset. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, even as other people chirped in my ears and surrounded me like I was a fucking Hollywood star or something.
“I’ll be right back. I need to go,” I announced as I pushed my way through the people next to me and headed toward her. It was rude to cut my old friends off that way. I knew they were only curious about where I’d been, but there would be time for catching up with them later. After Cammie. Cammie needed to come first. Everyone else could come last.